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*Original post. Click at your own discretion.
NOTE: Do not mislead by the title. I do not actually hate Halo 5. I like Halo 5 a lot. I do however hate the Prometheans. Allow me to elaborate this very important issue…
Halo 5’s Prometheans are the main reason I never intend to play the campaign ever again. It’s painful. I don’t care about level design. The story was bad but I could definitely tolerate it, and gameplay is as good as ever. You can list a whole bunch of things and none of them would be a legitimate reason for me to hate the campaign. Not even Locke. (Except the heartbreaking story but even that doesn’t persuade me to stop playing the campaign). There is only one thing stopping me from enjoying Halo 5 more than anything else and it’s the yoinking Prometheans.
Why do I hate the Prometheans?
Reason 1: Knights in Halo 5 don’t do jack sh*t because they are extremely nerfed and dumbed down compared to Halo 4’s Knights (who I actually enjoyed fighting).
Elaboration: You know when Halo 4 came out in 2012 I was absolutely freaked out how awesome the Prometheans were. A lot of people didn’t like the Knights teleporting but I thought it was just damn cool. No other game in the world I could think where enemies were so smart. And you know in Halo 4, unlike in Halo 5, the Knights actually had “reasons” to teleport. Such as trying to hide from you so they can heal from damage. Or so they could “evade” your well planned attacks in order to make you lose the battle. And ultimately to give themselves a strategic advantage so they can “kill” you. Knights also used to zig-zag attack you. That alone is just mind-blowing. In fact I’m still very impressed how incredibly unpredictable these beasts were in Halo 4. They could make the decision of when to teleport, how to attack, and when to strike and fall back. And to top it off, watchers actually resurrected them if they died. The Halo 4 knight is literally a death machine. Basically, they would do everything in their power to kill you. They would actually do cool things to try and kill you not seen in other games and there’s still more stuff that they do that I can’t even remember. But those abilities they had were amazing and memorable to me.
In Halo 5, Knights don’t do jack-sh*t! They don’t teleport. They don’t chase you (maybe a couple of feet?), they don’t get resurrected by watchers, and they don’t use any special attacks to try and kill you throughout the whole game. In fact Knights in Halo 5 don’t even care if they dying or need to retreat. The are basically stand-still bricks with big guns. They sit perfectly still and shoot laser rockets. That’s it! They do t do anything else except stand still and shoot incineration cannons in Halo 5. W T F???
During the last mission of the campaign, if I recall correctly, I practically begged in my mind hoping at least one knight would do something. Come over to me. “Try” to kill me. Instead they all just sat there waiting for me to reveal myself so they could shoot their light rifles and scattershots. Like W T H??
I can’t even describe how frustrating it is just shooting at them. I feel betrayed. I feel like the enemy I liked now has a brain the size of a pea. I want to fight cool Prometheans like in Halo 4, not grandma and grandpa version in Halo 5. The only thing the Knights do in Halo 5 at the very least is jump around occasionally, and usually it’s not because it’s trying to beat you. The only reason it jumps is to waste your time while trying to kill it (teleportation had reasons) and to top it off the animation for its jumps are noticeably wierd.
Reason 2: “Soldiers” are 100% retarded.
Elaboration: I, 100% with a passion, hate the soldiers in Halo 5. I would much rather pretend that Halo 5’s advertisements were in-game real (even though they were all lies) than acknowledge these stupid robots exist.
First of all the “soldiers” look stupid as hell. There is no better way to describe them than just plain stupid. Why? Because they don’t look anything like proper Forerunner material to be honest, especially because they look way too much like an ordinary humans and function an behave like ordinary humans! I mean come on!!! I don’t want to fight anything that looks like humans in Halo. I’d easily much rather fight the creatures in 343’s Prometheans concept art like the Pack master (who looked like a robot warewolf) or that giant snake robot looking creature. Like hell yeah! Know why? Because they’d be genuinely imaginably terrifying and fantastic to fight. Does anyone consider the soldiers in Halo 5 to be slightly valuable? I can’t call them awesome, or threatening, or cool. The only thing I can call soldiers is ugly and annoying.
To top off how stupid they are, they say stuff that isn’t interesting, funny, or cool. Soldiers are basically like a punching bag 343 gave us and the more I punch them the more I hate them. Even just looking at them frustrates me. You know, there’s not even an slight explanation of how these creatures even came about and yet we’re expected to view them as threatening to the Galaxy. Soldiers are actually EASIER TO FIGHT THAN GRUNTS in Warzone.
I could probably ably go on how dumb the soldiers are so I’ll just stop here regarding them.
Oh, one more thing. Soldiers teleport all the time for no legitimate reason!!! When a soldier teleports, he does not do so to confuse you. He does not do so to heal himself. He does do so so he can sneak around you. The only reason soldiers teleport is because they are programmed by the developers to move around quickly within a specific time limit multiple times JUST FOR THE SAKE of teleporting. Other than that, soldiers rarely ever teleport in strategically advancing positions/locations. It’s just changing the angle from where it shoots you from and I can’t remember if soldiers even try to take cover when they’re being shot.
I would find it very hard to believe if anyone actually likes these things.
Reason 3: Crawlers do not crawl.
Elaboration: Go back to Halo 4, Crawlers were easily one of the most challenging enemies to fight in the campaign. In Halo 5 they are a joke.
In Halo 4 Crawlers would literally “climb” walls. They would “sneak” around you if you were trying to take cover. They would “retreat” if you were stronger than them and they would “advance” towards you in groups of they “thought” they were stronger than you.
In Halo 5, crawlers don’t do anything except run in a certain direction where they were programmed to run. They don’t run towards you to try and kill you, their just passing through an area you just happen to be in and within its incredibly accurate range of fire. You could sit behind a crate all day long and none of them would even bother to come and kill you. Same goes for the Knights and soldiers in Halo 5 (depending where the Soldier is programmed to move only for the sake of moving around).
Reason 4: Watchers are barely seen in Halo 5.
Elaboration: Where is the diversity in Halo 5’s Promeatheans? Thought 90% of the campaign and Warzone there are barely any watchers in sight. The worst part is they barely try to attack you. They barely defend their allies like they used to. They don’t resurrect anything anymore. They’re just useless in the whole game. Why? It used to catch your grenades in Halo 4 all the time and throw them back at you. I’ve only ever seen it happen once in Halo 5 7 month post launch.