Be realistic, you’re not sitting around in the halo forums to tell people you’re going to quit halo if it has the DMR or the credit system or loadouts or assassinations. Those are just mechanics, mechanics with the ability to be “improved”. So my question to you, forum, what would actually make you lose hope in halo if something happened in halo 4? To the point where you give up, sell your xbox, buy a ps3, and play…and play…what are some ps3 exclusives?..Oh yeah, uncharted and god of war. Here, I have a fairly good answer:
So come fall 2012, you pre ordered halo 4 and are going to go pick it up, the retailers give you a paper envelop with “Halo 4” and a crude drawing of master chief written in pen. You get home, confused by why there was no case for it, you pop in halo 4, and in the main menu you see campaign, dlc…and…that’s it…
So you select campaign and it takes 7 minutes to load it up, after the impatient wait one single screenshot is loaded with a picture of master chief holding two armor lock AA’s in his hands, in the background you can see forge world with two killballs and a column of seastack rocks that forms a huge shlong in the air. Confused and dumbfounded, you take a closer look at the chief in his new armor, and under the face plate you can just make out a troll face. Quickly you exit to main menu and go to DLC, the marketplace opens up and you see one DLC content for halo 4 that says, “play the full experience of halo 4!” that costs 800 ms points. Pissed off, but thankful you have extra ms points, you pay for the DLC.
The content finishes downloading and you return to the halo 4 main menu, you notice that the only added option is theater. Hoping for some explaination you load up theater mode and see that one video is in it. You load up the video and once again see master chief looking out at forge world; you notice that the map is a remade version of “the cage” except that all the object textures have been replaced with the texture for wall coliseums. Master chief turns around and looks at you, then takes off his helmet, revealing the troll face. The face smiles, then begins to sing the trolololo song and runs around “the cage”, shooting his DMR. When he gets to the middle of “the cage” you can see a BR lying on the ground, the troll proceeds to -Yoink!- the BR and shoot it with the DMR, the troll face then jumps off of master chief’s head, then Microsoft and 343 come in and begin to eat the BR. Master chief has the Mark V helmet from halo CE on and screams, "THEY’RE EATING HER! THEN THEY’RE GONNA EAT ME! OH MY GOD!!! When Microsoft, 343, and the troll finish eating the BR, they turn to master chief and begin to sodomize him, you watch master chief get raped for 7 seconds until the screen cuts to black, you look at your xbox, and see that it has red ringed.
[Edit: Wow guys, I leave the forums for a day and look what happens! Your responses are great and this was the last thing I expected! This thread was only meant to be a joke because everyone is so uptight and whatnot it needed some comic relief. Even so, thanks guys!]

