Types of Halo Players

Loud banging noises followed by a shotgun blast
For future reference, the Hamburglar isnt a mispronunciation of Hamburger, Its a real thing. He literally raids peoples houses covered in sliced ham. he broke into my flat at 3 AM and raided my fridge.

Oh, youre here? Huh. Well, judging by the subject title of the post, that means were doing another one of these. bland and dreary 'Yay’

Alright, lets do this.
Know that Im not limiting this to just Halo 5, so I probably put this in the wrong forum… Oops

Types of Halo Players.

The Noob/
Children are just bundles of joy, arent they? If you said yes then you have no idea how much I envy your blissful ignorance.
These creatures are fresh from the COD hotbox, and are ready to rumble… Heh, who am I kidding, these kids are gonna get pummeled.
They think Halo is simply a Triple A clone of Call of Duty, and therefore act accordingly.

  • They dont understand shields - They dont understand certain weapons or how to use them - They are devout followers of my previous guide, *“How to be the best player to ever live”*These guys are jokes. A shotgun blast to the face should do the trick. Just be prepared for the ooFstorm of Hate messages, death threats, and slurs.

The Newb
These players are due an education.
These are people you could consider noobs. Although despite this, they are not closed to learning how to play effectively, they are good with critical thinking and sportsmanship, and always hold themselves accountable for their mistakes, and actively make an effort to fix them. These are the players, that as an experienced player, you have the responsibility of looking out for and educating. These guys are riddled with potential and nearly always a good addition to a fireteam.

The MLG Edgeman
These guys seriously overestimate themselves. They have the drive of a madman, but are horrendous at the game. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but paired with their childish behavior and attitude, it can certainly be used as a point of criticism. They also tend to have an edgy sense of humor, and use shock value to their advantage. Unfortunately, that behavior backfires, and they lose all respect from the lobby. They upload terrible montages to YouTube that consist of generic kills and feats unremarkable.
These guys can also be taken care of with a shotgun to the face without much retaliation.

The Old-Heads
These people are a force to be reckoned with. They stick to Halo like a moth to the flame (the pathway starts to spiral…) Theyve been around since the wee little days of Halo, and have got a boatload of experience to show for it. These guys utilize any weapon and can destroy with it, know every map like the back of their hand, and know every little secret tactic or combo, and use it to stomp everybody else. The best way to tell one of these guys from everybody else is fairly easy. Just follow these steps, and youll know if youre unlucky enough to have one in your game

  • Are you alive? Yes- Wait, no, you just got air sniped. - So youve respaw- oop, now youre dead - Still dead bro. - Oh come on! how did he get that grenade in here?! - Leave the game and cry yourself to sleep.Good luck killing this guy, youre definitely gonna need it.

Smurfs
So youve decided to play a game of ranked slayer. Look! The other team is entirely made up of SR-1s! This should be an easy passing from Gold to Plat.
Heheh, nope. Little do you know, that entire team is made up of Onyx ranked Sweatlords. Must be fun getting cross-mapped with a plasma stick.
These guys are extremely annoying, but do not fret, for TrueSkill2 should (read: maybe not maybe) fix that problem right up. These guys either dont want to queue with similarly ranked players for fear of getting deranked, or they just love stomping lower ranked players. Theyre ooF-hats.

Quick Quacks
Shut up. Its the only thing I could come up with for quick core players
These guys are relatively simplistic in ambition; Capture your control points, and destroy the core in as little time as possible.
Although, its a two sided coin when it comes to the player. You either have the players who quick core but arent obnoxious, and then the Cheezr
The normal quick core players are simply focused on destroying your core, and having the game be done and out of the way. The Cheezrs on the other hand, actively antagonize you. They make fun of you in voice chat, camp your spawns, and generally make the game un-fun to play.

Brash boi
These kids are one of the worst to encounter in a social sense. The flaunt the rarest armor (that they most likely bought with mommy’s credit card), possess the mouth of a sailor, but have absolutely no skill to speak of. Theyre often very controlling, all the whilst having no leadership ability, and often end up costing the team the game. Theyre extremely easy to offend, (read as “taken down a notch”) and that can go one of two ways. You can either deal with a storm of hate messages and false reports, or you can have loads of fun toying with the child’s anger. If you can bait them into teamkilling you, you can easily boot them with no effort or consequence.

Alright. Im probably gonna break this demonic scripture into parts, so stay tuned for that.
Sounds of a door being blown in Crap! The Hamburglar is back. Stay tuned!

“Hey! I though I told you to stay out of my house”

A demonic voice rings out: "Gimme the ham little :b:oi!"

Sounds of stuff breaking, a couple of burps and another gunshot

Alright im done. Can I go home now?

I guess I’m an old head, but I don’t think I’m as good as the post implies lol. On a side note, there is a hamburglar slide at my kids school. Im pretty sure it’s been there longer than I have been alive

> 2533274939741128;1:
> Loud banging noises followed by a shotgun blast For future reference, the Hamburglar isnt a mispronunciation of Hamburger, Its a real thing. He literally raids peoples houses covered in sliced ham. he broke into my flat at 3 AM and raided my fridge.
>
> Oh, youre here? Huh. Well, judging by the subject title of the post, that means were doing another one of these. __bland and dreary 'Yay’Alright, lets do this.
> Know that Im not limiting this to just Halo 5, so I probably put this in the wrong forum… Oops
>
> **Types of Halo Players.****The Noob/**Children are just bundles of joy, arent they? If you said yes then you have no idea how much I envy your blissful ignorance.
> These creatures are fresh from the COD hotbox, and are ready to rumble… Heh, who am I kidding, these kids are gonna get pummeled.
> They think Halo is simply a Triple A clone of Call of Duty, and therefore act accordingly.
> - They dont understand shields - They dont understand certain weapons or how to use them - They are devout followers of my previous guide, "How to be the best player to ever live"These guys are jokes. A shotgun blast to the face should do the trick. Just be prepared for the ooFstorm of Hate messages, death threats, and slurs.
>
> The NewbThese players are due an education.
> These are people you could consider noobs. Although despite this, they are not closed to learning how to play effectively, they are good with critical thinking and sportsmanship, and always hold themselves accountable for their mistakes, and actively make an effort to fix them. These are the players, that as an experienced player, you have the responsibility of looking out for and educating. These guys are riddled with potential and nearly always a good addition to a fireteam.
>
> The MLG EdgemanThese guys seriously overestimate themselves. They have the drive of a madman, but are horrendous at the game. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but paired with their childish behavior and attitude, it can certainly be used as a point of criticism. They also tend to have an edgy sense of humor, and use shock value to their advantage. Unfortunately, that behavior backfires, and they lose all respect from the lobby. They upload terrible montages to YouTube that consist of generic kills and feats unremarkable.
> These guys can also be taken care of with a shotgun to the face without much retaliation.
>
> The Old-Heads These people are a force to be reckoned with. They stick to Halo like a moth to the flame (the pathway starts to spiral…) Theyve been around since the wee little days of Halo, and have got a boatload of experience to show for it. These guys utilize any weapon and can destroy with it, know every map like the back of their hand, and know every little secret tactic or combo, and use it to stomp everybody else. The best way to tell one of these guys from everybody else is fairly easy. Just follow these steps, and youll know if youre unlucky enough to have one in your game
> - Are you alive? Yes- Wait, no, you just got air sniped. - So youve respaw- oop, now youre dead - Still dead bro. - Oh come on! how did he get that grenade in here?! - Leave the game and cry yourself to sleep.Good luck killing this guy, youre definitely gonna need it.
>
> SmurfsSo youve decided to play a game of ranked slayer. Look! The other team is entirely made up of SR-1s! This should be an easy passing from Gold to Plat.
> Heheh, nope. Little do you know, that entire team is made up of Onyx ranked Sweatlords. Must be fun getting cross-mapped with a plasma stick.
> These guys are extremely annoying, but do not fret, for TrueSkill2 should (read: maybe not maybe) fix that problem right up. These guys either dont want to queue with similarly ranked players for fear of getting deranked, or they just love stomping lower ranked players. Theyre ooF-hats.
>
> Quick QuacksShut up. Its the only thing I could come up with for quick core players
> These guys are relatively simplistic in ambition; Capture your control points, and destroy the core in as little time as possible.
> Although, its a two sided coin when it comes to the player. You either have the players who quick core but arent obnoxious, and then the Cheezr
> The normal quick core players are simply focused on destroying your core, and having the game be done and out of the way. The Cheezrs on the other hand, actively antagonize you. They make fun of you in voice chat, camp your spawns, and generally make the game un-fun to play.
>
> Brash boiThese kids are one of the worst to encounter in a social sense. The flaunt the rarest armor (that they most likely bought with mommy’s credit card), possess the mouth of a sailor, but have absolutely no skill to speak of. Theyre often very controlling, all the whilst having no leadership ability, and often end up costing the team the game. Theyre extremely easy to offend, (read as “taken down a notch”) and that can go one of two ways. You can either deal with a storm of hate messages and false reports, or you can have loads of fun toying with the child’s anger. If you can bait them into teamkilling you, you can easily boot them with no effort or consequence.
>
> Alright. Im probably gonna break this demonic scripture into parts, so stay tuned for that.
> Sounds of a door being blown in Crap! The Hamburglar is back. Stay tuned!
>
> “Hey! I though I told you to stay out of my house”
>
> A demonic voice rings out: "Gimme the ham little :b:oi!
"
Sounds of stuff breaking, a couple of burps and another gunshot__Alright im done. Can I go home now?

I’m a Newb with a short fuse.

> 2533274794684102;2:
> I guess I’m an old head, but I don’t think I’m as good as the post implies lol. On a side note, there is a hamburglar slide at my kids school. Im pretty sure it’s been there longer than I have been alive

Eh, its basically a fundamentalist description.

The hamburglar is always watching :b:

I’m ashamed to admit that I can be perfectly classified as an MLG edgeman. I’ve had some really good games and really good days, and as a result, I always expect myself to match that. I almost always fall short, so I get really mad. My fingers get very jumpy, and we lose, and its all my fault, but something in the back of my mind is like, “It’s okay, just play another game and you’ll do great!” Repeat.

I think my attitude has changed a bit, but I still think it’s better for everyone that my mic broke a few months ago.

They absolutely did not fix it. Maybe certain things but I love when my team goes against champs and I have a bronze 6 on my team (legitimately happened once) I was astonished. Let the grinding commence

> 2535462450434439;6:
> They absolutely did not fix it. Maybe certain things but I love when my team goes against champs and I have a bronze 6 on my team (legitimately happened once) I was astonished. Let the grinding commence

I would rather face a team of smurfs ranked Onyx/Champion than face the ones before TrueSkill2 that were all platinum, because now if I lose, my CSR doesn’t go down drastically.

> 2533274800168045;7:
> > 2535462450434439;6:
> > They absolutely did not fix it. Maybe certain things but I love when my team goes against champs and I have a bronze 6 on my team (legitimately happened once) I was astonished. Let the grinding commence
>
> I would rather face a team of smurfs ranked Onyx/Champion than face the ones before TrueSkill2 that were all platinum, because now if I lose, my CSR doesn’t go down drastically.

It must be bugged I can fight against champs be low onyx trying to grind up and loose 20-30 points everytime over the 1-2 I would loose against actual champs

Ive heard that if you lay carrots and other vegetables around your house,the Hamburglar wont be able to enter it.