After 5 years fivelongyears.exe and thousands of posts on Twitter, I’ve finally assembled a list of the true reasons why Red Team got banned from the Henry Lamb Research Outpost by Atriox. While you might think that three multi-ton supersoldiers with lightning reflexes and heavy armor might be able to beat one multi-ton monke with lightning reflexes and heavy armor, I’m pretty sure that after reading my tier list, you’ll agree that there’s no way we could expect Red Team to have done their jobs. In fact, we should all resolve to be more supportive of them from now on.
- They were too busy thinking about the horrible, horrible Human-Covenant war.
- In unrelated news, the value of dogecoin had just taken a hit.
- Halo DS when?
- Ground Command was canceled.
- They didn’t Be Better enough.
- They got shadowbanned.
- They didn’t pre-order The Witch Queen.
- They didn’t pre-order Elden Ring.
- amogus
- All they need is the three digits on the back of your credit card, and the expiration date. But hurry!
- It was Call of Duty History Month.
- It was Purple People Eater History Month.
- They had to finish grinding a season pass.
- 19 dollar fortnite card
14.5 like and subscribe - Halo Support was open 12 hours a day.
- They got new voice actors.
And, the number #1 one reason at the top of my brand new tier list of reasons why Red Team couldn’t be expected to do their jobs and beat Atriox in a Blur cutscene is…
- mister chief took his helmet off
I hope you all liked my tier list! Please like and leave a comment below, it really helps out the algorithm
/satire