“I…well I don’t really know my real name, all I have is an old photo of my family and I and on the back it had our names…I was just labeled Kit.”
The smile fades from Kit’s face
“It was most likely a nickname they gave me but it is all I have of a time long gone…when they were here.” Kit shifts her weight “Officially I have no middle or last name.”
“But…I am Spartan KitKat, I am a Spartan IV.”
Day:3
Driving down the highway and running over any pedestrian nearby him, Cyanades rammed his car into the store. Seeing as how his license plate was Cyanade, he took it off and replaced it with one which read 1337 FE just for kicks. Now he is walking into the bar…
Hey guys! What was with that Elite fellow outside? He avoided my hog-jitsu.
Yo Bartender! I need some fresh warm milk, you know… a man’s drink!
Sitting down, he notices a purple Spartan named Kit and that Mr Mac
Hey you two! You guys talking about feelings! Drink some of my new drink! Cyanide. It is bound to make you guys feel better.
After saying such words, Cyanades looks around to find FE17 to make sure he won’t foil his plans
*Noticing the large population here, Stream decides to pull his old Camaro into this bar instead of the local one he usually attends. He gets I.D.ed at the door of course, as he looks young for his age, then before he even makes it to the bar, Sarah Palmer offers him a drink and to go sit at a table as she winks. Stream then sighs and says "Unfortunately for us both, I have a GF I am loyal too.
Walking to the bar feeling confident, he orders a water on the rocks as he is feeling dehydrated. Then he sits there, alone, waiting with his SAW and Pistol on his hip, for any Covies or Prometheans to show uninvited…*
Spartan II of ONI, Code name Agent Ice Berg, barges through the front door flustered
wheezing in shortness of breath, he yells
“Everyone must evacuate the bar this very instant!! ONI has picked up a Covenant Slipspace rupture 5 miles from this location!!! There are two Super Carriers glassing their way here as we speak!”
“They seem to be honed on this location, as if they are looking for something, but for what exactly? I feel as though my superiors are leaving some important details out.”
> *His companion Ai translates what the bartender had said.
>
> *As soon as the Ai gets to the word kill. Ardo’ Moretumme erupts into satisfaction! The sanghelli general pulls out his energy sword simultaneously yelling -
> "Monerasha Wruq ji tiny humans!!"
>
> *At the sight of the elite wielding his energy sword and yelling in sanghelli, everyone in the room jumps and pulls out there weapons and points them at the elite.
>
> *The elite smiling and inching slowly towards the children with his energy sword is stopped by his Ai companion.
>
> his ai compaion tells the elite in sanghelli “Maybe we should find an alternative to killing… Maybe one the doesnt end up in both of us dying!”
>
> the general looks around… putting away his energy sword he scufffs
>
> *He walks over to the childern with empty hands he ushers them from the bar table, in doing so, one of the kids drops the plasma pistol.
>
> *The general sees this and is enraged! again he pulls out his sword yelling … and agian everyone jumps with guns in hand.
>
> “AUE KIYA?!?” the general asks the childern.
>
> His AI companion translates “I think he wants to know where you go that plasma pistol childern.”
Sam looks up at the creature, and peers forward as if looking at a fuzzy picture
“Uh, excuse me, Mr. Dinosaur sir, but we found this off a reptilian type alien creature that was shooting needles at us. You certainly cannot expect us to mingle with the proletariat…” Sam gestures to the rest of those in the bar, carousing like fools, “…completely unarmed. All these fools want is to dump poison into their veins, ingest fattening foods, and start fights. Surely you understand.”
Fred looks at Sam like he’s gone absolute bonkers
“You idiot, that big three toed freak can’t understand what we’re saying, nor reason! You see how quick he is to anger and violence? He hardly even waited for the translation from his little R2-D2 before threatening with his blade! If we’re ever going to get Home, we need to figure out why The Book isn’t working, not bicker with extraterrestrials!”
Agent Ice Berg? Really…you could have given yourself a better codename than that! Maybe Icebreaker or Glacier…but really?
Noticing there is a covenant ship in the sky, Cyanades shrugs and says
Oh yeah…forgot about THAT. Whoever pissed that Elite off is in big trouble… if they are after me, tell them that my Gruntacos are in Alaska.
Agent FE17, still in disguise, glances into the pub and is pleased to see that Spartan KitKat has managed to calm the Sangheili. He steps through the door and spots Cyanades attempting to poison the clientele
“Hey, you, what do you think you’re-”
He stops, noticing Agent Ice Berg yelling about the Covenant fleet
Grabs him by the arm, marching him to the back of the room
“Keep it down! We don’t want these people panicking before they die! Sure, ONI brass hasn’t explained anything yet, but the last thing we need in here is a stampede, so don’t go alarming people, agent! Here, go insert another of my viruses into the PA. This one will either play Sarge and Caboose singing the Blood Gulch Blues, or an endless loop of Elites yelling ‘wort wort wort’ and ‘blarg, honk’.
That should keep everyone distracted.”
Noticing Cyanades looking suspiciously at him, he hurries through the back door, staring at the trio with their strange Book
(you guys went through 2 pages in a few hours?!? congratz me?)
Enters, covered in grunt blood
Don’t ask.
magic cleaning portal!
finally decides to look around
wow its busy. I will need to buy the next room. Anyway, why is there a clothes shop on this ship?
checks order list
thinks: What type of soda?
> Spartan II of ONI, Code name Agent Ice Berg, barges through the front door flustered
>
> wheezing in shortness of breath, he yells
>
> “Everyone must evacuate the bar this very instant!! ONI has picked up a Covenant Slipspace rupture 5 miles from this location!!! There are two Super Carriers glassing their way here as we speak!”
>
> “They seem to be honed on this location, as if they are looking for something, but for what exactly? I feel as though my superiors are leaving some important details out.”
Piss off.
General Ardo Moretummes watches at all the filthy humans bicker amongst each other, never has he seen such anarchic behavior from (so called) “intelligent beings.” (he laughs to himself at the idea) even with officers present they seem to have no respect. Never would this intolerable behavior be allowed on a covenant class vessel.
-in his mid train of thought, he notices three tiny humans below him, their disgusting faces peering up and talking to him-
(the sanghelli begins to get iritated)
“WORT AI’ERATE.”
(ai translates)
“GO AWAY he says” as the sanghelli knocks a tiny human over with his enormous foot. (the sanghelli laughs at this entertainment)
With the force of his kick he dislodges the book from the kids arms and watches it slide across the tile floor.
The sanghelli is intrigued, mezmorized at the shiny book cover he goes to pick it up
At the same time the kid jumps ontop of the book, the sangheli lifts the kid up with one arm and brings him to eye level.
“Aue yu tiny human?”
((what is this tiny human?))
he growls at the tiny human lifted 8 feet above the ground, with his other arm he then pries the tiny human away from the book
the curious sanghelli sniffs the book, then examines it. He then tastes the book and again examines it.
The sanghelli general finds the book interesting and instead giving it to the (now complaining) tiny humans. he keeps it
Kit over-hearing the Sangheili and the Trio grows annoyed
She walks towards them both
She looks at the trio with a scowl
“It is not very nice to talk about others poorly when we can hear you. What is the book?”
She takes the book from the Sangheili
“And you,” Kit turns her gaze to the Sangheili “they are just children…don’t bully them…you are better then that.”
Book in hand she walls back to her seat
“That orange soda though.”
(What, I don’t make the roster? Was it the puns?)
A Covenant ship?! Dear god! That won’t effect my moaburger, will it? If it doesn’t, I don’t care. Maybe they’ve come to redact this blood-thirsty security guard…"
Looks around
Daaaaang, there’s no service in this place
Sees abandoned drink on counter
Huh… well, I guess nobody’s drinken from it…
Drinks it
Sees Cyanades stare at him with wide, bewildered eyes from corner
What, it tastes li—
crumbles to floor
> General Ardo Moretummes watches at all the filthy humans bicker amongst each other, never has he seen such anarchic behavior from (so called) “intelligent beings.” (he laughs to himself at the idea) even with officers present they seem to have no respect. Never would this intolerable behavior be allowed on a covenant class vessel.
>
> -in his mid train of thought, he notices three tiny humans below him, their disgusting faces peering up and talking to him-
>
> (the sanghelli begins to get iritated)
> “WORT AI’ERATE.”
>
> (ai translates)
> “GO AWAY he says” as the sanghelli knocks a tiny human over with his enormous foot. (the sanghelli laughs at this entertainment)
>
> With the force of his kick he dislodges the book from the kids arms and watches it slide across the tile floor.
>
> The sanghelli is intrigued, mezmorized at the shiny book cover he goes to pick it up
>
> At the same time the kid jumps ontop of the book, the sangheli lifts the kid up with one arm and brings him to eye level.
>
> “Aue yu tiny human?”
> ((what is this tiny human?))
>
> he growls at the tiny human lifted 8 feet above the ground, with his other arm he then pries the tiny human away from the book
>
> the curious sanghelli sniffs the book, then examines it. He then tastes the book and again examines it.
>
> The sanghelli general finds the book interesting and instead giving it to the (now complaining) tiny humans. he keeps it
Joe tumbles to the ground, The Book now loosened from his clutches. He scurries backward, to join Sam at a corner table, who is furiously pretending to look through a menu, imagining he isn’t associated with the commotion. Fred stands alone, facing down the massive alien, with plasma pistol tucked in the back of his gym shorts
“Now listen here, you Dopey Dino! Nobody asked for your ugly four-jawed face to butt into the middle of our lives, and interfere with our business!”
The Elite drops The Book from its mouth, a tad taken aback that the little human can have such a loud and demanding voice
Fred continues, “I haven’t dug my own grave in front of Blackbeard the Pirate, or faced down the Black Knight, or…played basketball with the Pharaoh of Egypt just to let your scaley hide take our Book from us!”
The Elite waits for the translation, and then laughs uproariously at the thought of handing The Book over. He walks off with it, not yet opening it up to reveal its contents
Fred turns tail, defeated, and heads off to the corner table with his friends
“Man!” Fred exclaims disgustedly, “tonight was Domino’s night at home, I really wanted to be back! Now I’m going to miss the only time I can get pizza this week, and watch the Yankees before Mom and Dad make me go to bed.” He takes his hat off and places it on the table.
Joe and Sam look exhausted, but aren’t ready to admit defeat just yet.
“Maybe this is for the best. This is the only time that we have ended up somewhere with The Book, and it hasn’t worked to take us back. Maybe it needs to be lost for us to truly get back. In the meantime, what’s on the menu for this place, Sam?” Joe said, quasi-cheerfully.
Still trembling from the encounter with the Elite, Sam places the menu down on the table. “To be honest I have no idea. Half of this is stuff I’ve never heard of, and well, the menu was shaking so fast I don’t know if I could’ve read it had I known how to pronounce half these words! I wonder what the house specials are?”
> Kit over-hearing the Sangheili and the Trio grows annoyed
>
> She walks towards them both
>
> She looks at the trio with a scowl
>
> “It is not very nice to talk about others poorly when we can hear you. What is the book?”
>
> She takes the book from the Sangheili
>
> “And you,” Kit turns her gaze to the Sangheili “they are just children…don’t bully them…you are better then that.”
>
> Book in hand she walls back to her seat
>
> “That orange soda though.”
Fred looks up, exasperated
“It’s also not nice to take things that belong to other people! And here everyone keeps looking down on us…”
“Literally!” interjects Sam
Fred shoots Sam a look “…because we’re young. Maybe if we weren’t bullied and were actually treated with dignity and respect, and given our things back, we’d be more inclined to be a bit more polite.”
“What Fred means,” Joe clarifies, “is that The Book is nothing but a book full of magic tricks that use sleight of hand and trickery to convince an audience of some type of higher influence. It’s integral to our operations for reasons I’m not quite sure you’ll understand, seeing as we’re not really from here. And by here, I don’t mean here, but this time period.”
Turning away from the counter to face the trio
“This Spartan understands more then you know, I also understand that you should not mess with Sangheili. Don’t be cocky either.”
Kit picks the book up off the counter
“Next time, don’t be so rude and I never showed anyone disrespect…remember that.”
With that Kit hands the trio their book back
Turning back to the counter Kit decides it is time for an announcement
“My armor is white with purple, not pink nor purple!”
Joe quickly grabs The Book, and retreats back to their corner table, being careful not to disturb the cantankerous alien who tried to take a bite out of the pages
“Thank you ma’am,” Sam says with a curt bow, “for your understanding. And for the record, I think your armor is very attractive looking, yet wonderously functional I’m sure.” He follows Joe back to their table, leaving Fred left standing on his own.
Fred scratches his head, trying to figure out what just went on.
“Now wait a minute,” he says to nobody in particular. “So we just got handed our Book back after much ado over nothing, and then we were told exactly how we should feel despite our own thoughts? I always thought I was the master of my own reactions, but it seems I’m wrong.”
Sam reaches out to Fred. “Come off it Fred, all that matters is that we have The Book back. Let’s open it up and see if we can get back home!”
“Now everyone sit back and relax,” says Joe, his palms moist from anticipation. “Let’s hope this works.”
He slowly cracks open The Book…the trio looking away but peering back, hoping that the magical swirling mist will be revealed that warps them back home.
A bright light shines from somewhere in the bar, and the trio’s spirits lift momentarily, thinking it’s coming from The Book…until Joe opens the page to reveal a biographical account of Harry Houdini.
“Great,” bemoaned Joe, “Just great. Now what are we gonna do?”
> Huh… well, I guess nobody’s drinken from it…
> Drinks it
> Sees Cyanades stare at him with wide, bewildered eyes from corner
> What, it tastes li—
> crumbles to floor
“Hey barkeep I’ll have one of those please, minus the poison?”
Auto bartender fetch’s CHX his drink automatically like a scene out of Back to the Future 2.
CHX is intrigued by all the new people in the bar and (impressed by the barkeeps ability to keep relevant funny tabs on everyone in his first post…)
CHX stares at the young trio hoping for some old school magic tricks, and pondering if they are members of “the Eye” like his 4 horseman buddies from another time…
Now out of disguise and hidden in a dark corner, FE17 notes that Cyanades’ cyanide has claimed its first victim
“Alas, poor ComicBeast1212! I knew him well…”
Throws sticky camera onto side of the bar to listen in to the argument between General Ardo Moretummes and the strange trio of children
“So, all that hype and buildup about their magical Book was about nothing…! It was an underwhelming disappointment… Huh. I wonder if the Book’s title is ‘The Destiny of Titanfall’s Watchdogs’…”
> Now out of disguise and hidden in a dark corner, FE17 notes that Cyanades’ cyanide has claimed its first victim
>
> “Alas, poor ComicBeast1212! I knew him well…”
>
> Throws sticky camera onto side of the bar to listen in to the argument between General Ardo Moretummes and the strange trio of children
>
> “So, all that hype and buildup about their magical Book was about nothing…! It was an underwhelming disappointment… Huh. I wonder if the Book’s title is ‘Destiny’s Watchdogs and Titans Fall’…”
KitKat bursts out laughing
“Cheers to that!” She says still laughing out of control
“Oh my everything hurts!”
She falls to the floor with laughter
The purple Spartan hits the ground with a thud, rocking the entire bar with the weight of her heavy armor. Her laughter echoes throughout the rafters of the pub
“I wonder what happened,” Joe pondered aloud. “Did she just get the jokes that were told earlier? Or did she get stepped on by that alien, which is why everything hurts?”
“WHAT?!” yelled Fred, having to elevate his voice to be heard over the laughter.
Sam throws down the menu. “What on earth is a moaburger? And a thorn beast? Seriously, this list is straight out of a Dr. Seuss novel. Is there any edible space food that doesn’t have a strange name or is dehydrated? The last thing I want is some 'astronaut ice cream.”
The auto-server then floats over
“Welcome to the Halo Bar, where we serve as many exotics as the UNSC wartime regulations allow. Romulan Ale, however, has been barred from service until further notice.”
Just then, the auto-server’s automated image of Lord Hood is being taken over and pushed to the side by a many-tentacled creature, that looks akin to a Venus Fly Trap
“You must try the Infection Special, which will provide you with a bliss you’ve never known.”
Lord Hood’s image fights back
“For just 100 credits, you can have the ‘Fire the Array’ Special, any type of meat you desire, fire grilled over a Halo array burner.”
The Gravemind pushes over
“The Infection special is your destiny, reclaimer.”
Hood pushes back
“Fire the Array now, this special is only available for a limited time!”
Finally, Fred just yells at the auto-orderer to get it to shut up
“Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute, guys, hey, hey, hey guys! All I want is a Pepsi.”