The Fifteen Commandments of Halo Matchmaking

These are the fifteen rules that all Halo players should follow to avoid annoying fellow teammates and avoid bans:

  1. Thou shalt not beg for Recon or Eternal.

  2. Thou shalt not -Yoink!- unless thou got the kill.

  3. Thou shalt not camp unless sniping or defending an objective.

  4. Thou shalt not scream into the microphone.

  5. Thou shalt not use the female body/voice unless thou art a woman.

  6. Thou shalt not insult fellow players for their rank.

  7. Thou shalt not teamkill.

  8. Thou shalt not drive or push teammates off a cliff or high ledge.

  9. Thou shalt not insult new players.

  10. Thou must play DLC maps whenever available.

  11. If someone helped thou obtain an Achievement, Thou must help them as well.

  12. Thou shalt not swear excessively.

  13. Thou shalt not use sexist/sexual/racist/homophobic comments.

  14. Thou shalt never use the word “rape” in reference to Halo.

And finally:

  1. He who hath no kills doth not -Yoink-.

Thank you, Moses. I was truly entertained. lol.

I’ve broken all of these.

The first step is admitting it!

> I’ve broken all of these.
>
> The first step is admitting it!

lmao. I know. I broke a lot of them as well. Will i be going to hell for this. Or will i be forgiven.

You won’t be going to hell. Just the ban list.

Also, I added a few more.

> You won’t be going to hell. Just the ban list.
>
> Also, I added a few more.

Doubt it. I’ve gone to church (custom map) every Sunday. lmao.

> <mark>You won’t be going to hell. Just the ban list.</mark>
>
> Also, I added a few more.

Do you think Francis Griffin would approve of that?

Hell is nothing but the ultimate ban list, so he would agree.

Looks like I’m clea-

> 5. Thou shalt not use the female body/voice unless thou art a woman.

Well -Yoink-. But the female spartan is skinny, unlike the male one.

> 1. Thou shalt not beg for Recon or Eternal.

this one is pointless, cant get eternal anyway LOL

> Hell is nothing but the ultimate ban list, so he would agree.

lmao

As a Christian this is second only the actual 10 Commandments :slight_smile:

Testify, my Brother! Testify!

Number 2 drives me nuts. I go 1v1 and kill your teammate, but my shields are low. In the meantime, two more spawn in. The second guy manages to finish me off, but it’s the THIRD guy who decides to -Yoink!- me! WTH!

> > 1. Thou shalt not beg for Recon or Eternal.
>
> this one is pointless, cant get eternal anyway LOL

I know, but it’s still annoying as hell both here and in the game.

Nice list OP, but then again, I don’t follow of those rules and still manage to find good players…

Well, so far I have not broken:
1…4…5…9…12 and 13.

But am proud of the MANY-MANY Yoinks I’ve snared :smiley:
Especially in Crazy King.

> I’ve broken all of these.
>
> The first step is admitting it!

At least you can admit it, you have my respect for that.

Thou should never t-bag in my presence. Ever. Because I will punish you with a negative score. For I am just.

LAZERAK47, 3-16

How about never -Yoink!- ever?? Rustles my jimmies…

Oh and I would like to see an option to boot whenever someone yoinks my assassination, that would be nice :slight_smile:

> Looks like I’m clea-
>
>
> > 5. Thou shalt not use the female body/voice unless thou art a woman.
>
> Well Yoink!. But the female spartan is skinny, unlike the male one.

Ya I use a female Spartan as well and I’m not a girl. I just greatly prefer the look.

Everything you’ve listed, I seen in every game.