The 343 Conspiracy

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It’s genius really, and I consider myself one for figuring it all out.

You see, it’s all by design. All of Halo 4’s flaws and deficiencies - the boltshot, no skill-based ranking system, low number of maps, no forge maps in rotation (not even the ones that came with the disc - just…so sad, 343), effectively not listening to the fans despite all their speeches pronouncing they would do so, all this, everything that made Halo one of the best multiplayer FPS games in the world, nay, the universe, has been ripped out for a purpose. They made a potentially awesome game into someone that is quickly being forgotten only two months after it’s release. For anyone who denies this, I only look to my friends and Friends List. Many were there since the beginning, and when I look now, none of them play Halo anymore. None of them. Friends of my friends describe the same thing. I’m not saying my social circle represents the sum total of all Halo players, but the absence of any Halo playing amongst the people I know tells me one thing: I am not alone. Sure sure, people still play Halo, but the numbers could be much more, if 343 simply wanted it to be so.

You see, 343 made all these ‘mistakes’ on purpose. For what, I cannot fathom, because the only other explanation for the mishap that is Halo 4 lies in sheer incompetence on 343’s part. But that cannot be possible. How can one be so blatantly and stubbornly inept in the face of such obvious solutions? How can so many people with such high qualifications and purported love for the Halos show such poor judgement? There is only one body of people who display similar behavior, and that is the U.S. government. Such incompetence cannot naturally exist. It’s a dang ol conspiracy!!!

I mean, they could just roll out the maps that are already on the disc, but 343 CANNOT even do THAT!! How do you show up for work everyday and not fix any problems?? I would be fired if I worked like a 343 employee. On the spot. Fired. So you see, incompetence and totally ignoring the fans is the modus operandi of 343, and they are performing wonderfully in this aspect.

Besides, they have our money, what reason for 343 to do anything more? I for one, applaud them, as well as the government and financial speculators, for they live my dream: to make lots of money without really doing anything.

Why you think you are a genius to come up with this I have no idea. This is utterly ridiculous on so many levels. It shows your level of self importance to be somewhat overblown.

Yes, the government is involved with, and hopes to take down this production company, in its first step towards world domination.

> Why you think you are a genius to come up with this I have no idea. This is utterly ridiculous on so many levels. It shows your level of self importance to be somewhat overblown.
>
> Yes, the government is involved with, and hopes to take down this production company, in its first step towards world domination.

Oh dear Lord. Like super serial OMG. You’re going to make me come out and say it. It’s a satire. It’s SUPPOSED to be ridiculous you idiot!!! You, sir, need to work for 343. My gosh you would be a highly prized asset to their team given your complete inability to see whats going on. You’d fit in well.

You’re the guy that needs the joke to be explained in order to get it.

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