Shall i continue my Fan Fiction Tie in novel?

Hi people,

I am a writer and i love everything to do with Halo especially the Novels! And i felt there was an opportunity for me to explore the origins of the Spartan Project - Orion, using Staff Sergeant Mobuto Marvin,a character who is briefly in “The Flood” by William C. Dietz, who lay dead in the library floor.

Here is the Prologue, please let me know what you think and if you think it is worth carrying on (please don’t correct spelling or grammar this is merely a draft). Thank you.


PROLOGUE
1643 Hours, February 11, Year: 2494 (Military Calendar)/
Eridanus II, Eridanus System.

His heart beat pounding like a drum in the back of his head. The sky littered with hem trails left by the rocket propelled grenades whizzing overhead and a shower of rock and dirt rained down on his face. Private Nickels approached, his face contorted into a roar and moving with intended haste, however his movement were sluggish and his voice could not be heard over the constant ring piercing Staff Sergeant Mobuto’s ears.

Instinctively reaching up and taking Nickels hand Mobuto gingerly rose to his feet. His head swiveling to take in his surrounding but everywhere he looked seem to drag over to the next place, and then the next. He looked down at his hand , he did not know why but he was puzzled to see them empty, he said something, he didn’t hear what he said but he mouthed them slowly in bewilderment, ‘Their empty…’

Nickels took Mobuto’s head with both hands and gave it a shake, catching his attention, he knelt and picked up his MA5D assault rifle and thrust it into his hands. As if flicking a switch Mobuto checked the chamber, it was empty. He ejected the spent clip rammed a fresh one home and yanked the slider,‘Situation?’ Mobuto demanded matter of factly as if nothing had happened.

‘Thanks Sarg, I triggered a proximity mine, if it wasn’t for you I would be…’ Nickels replied sheepishly, but Mobuto looked at him intently and cut him off, ‘Cut the -Yoink- Private’ Nickels snapped to and met his glare ‘Situation?’ he demanded. ‘Sorry sir.’ Nickels replied in a tone as professionally as he could muster. ‘We broken through the Rebel’s defences, all that’s left is to sweep the facility and secure the Intel.’

With an acute nod Mobuto spun on his heels, shouldered his weapon and raced off towards the resonating gun fire, Nickels falling in behind him. He keyed the open frequency on his helmet com, so all the UNSC soldiers could hear. ‘Listen up. We have made it this far, came through -Yoink-, piss, blood and guts marines. Now get me that -Yoink!- Intel’. Then he keyed to his squads frequency, checking up on them ‘Titan Red report?’

A female’s voice burst into his ears, not a soft voice one might expect but harsh and throaty, it was Sarah, Titan Red’s second in command ‘Inside the perimeter wall Sarg, managed to sneak round the back. So far so good, they are unaware of our presence.’

‘Good. Me and Nickels are gonna go knocking give the -Yoinks!- a surprise, you’re about to hear a large –bang, wait a few seconds then make your way inside, we will follow you shortly.’ A small acknowledgment light blinked in the corner of his heads up display to signal that his squad knew what to do.

Cresting the ridge Mobuto raised the M19 SSM rocket launcher, more commonly referred to as the “Jackhammer”. Targeted the wall of the base farther down the ridge and pulled the trigger, before the missile struck the compound Mobuto pounded down the hill. The augmentations in his legs fed blood to the muscles quicker and allowed them to expand up to three times their normal size, giving the missile a run for it money to the compound.

The rocket struck the wall and no sooner than the hole had been created had Mobuto passed through, his rifle drawn and his eyes scanning as red enemy blips appeared on his radar. The rubble hadn’t even touched the floor by the time he had sprayed one rebel with a short controlled burst, and before even his body had hit the floor he eyed another rebel down his sights.

Sarah and the rest of Titan Red had slipped into the bunker, unnoticed amongst the commotion, taken down a clutch of unsuspecting rebels in the lobby, proceeding deeper into the complex.

Nickels panting for his life after racing after Mobuto and wishing he had a set of legs like his checked his radar-all clear. Mobuto waiting for him at the bunkers entrance siphoned through his jacket to produce a fresh magazine, reloaded and entered.

Unaware of what was to follow.