Ladies and gentlemen, I have the displeasure today of announcing an epidemic that has been afflicting our soldiers. Soldiers are being struck by the strangest of all illnesses, and whether it is a physical or mental ailment has yet to be discerned. Our troops are sprouting bizarre growths from atop their noggin, pointing skyward aimlessly, making them look generally silly. This horn resemble that of a rhinoceros, but unlike the horn of a rhinoceros, it serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever, and only succeeds in making the spartan stick out like a sore thumb and look like a general prat.
Is this a deformity of a skull? Is it some sort of rebellious fashion choice instigated by the angsty youth of America? Or has the armor design department at the UNSC simply been watching too much Lady Gaga? The origin of the deformity is a mystery, but with your help you can help find a cure. Donate to the Hornless for Humanity foundation, and you will receive a complimentary bumper sticker, T-shirt and Calender that will always remind people of your charity and your care for those afflicted. Thank you for your time.
I love people with these things. When I get their shields down, they hide behind a rock and the next thing you know I see that horn. Pow! Right in the kissa!
> sir its the unsc’s anti -Yoink!- device. didnt you hear?
If that were the case then the horn would be situated closer to the chin or jaw, although the invention of such a helmet would revolutionize the way the UNSC envisions warfare.
