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Forgive me community, for I have killed.
Okay. I am somewhat a KD-cancer that everyone hates, in every game ever. But… I need to tell you why I do it.
Prepare for story time.
It started when I played Halo 3 as a guest at my friend’s house. (We had been playing all Halos’ since Halo CE but this was the first time I played online) I always got more kills than my friend and I felt good about it, so I asked my dad if I could get xbox live for my 360 at home so I could play with my friend online. Which I got.
I played sooo much Halo 3 with my friends, and back then it was all about winning. If you won a match you got one XP. And you could compare XP to how many games a player had played. I had so much fun playing with my friends, communicating and winning. Jumping in the warthog, grabbing flags with my friends. Sneaking by enemies with the bomb to score. Protecting the oddball-carrier with your life. It was all about winning.
And we had so much fun playing forge and customs as well.
Now.
My friends, one by one started to play CoD and other games and I stuck with Halo 3 much longer than they did. They still jumped in from time to time but I obviously liked it more than them.
When Reach came out, they got shocked at how different it was and of course reacted with “This game sucks, f this game.” etc.
I didn’t like Reach at first but it later became my most played Halo game (multiplayer).
I am not a social guy, so I didn’t play much with randoms and stuff in Reach. I didn’t have anyone to play with so I just explored the different gametypes alone… And then started playing a lot of Swat, which only has one purpose… Kill…
I have 103k kills in Reach, and I bet 85% of them are in Swat. It feels that way anyhow because I played it soooo much. Could help team by being good at killing.
Then Halo 4 came out. Tried gametypes. Had no one to play with. Kept killing. Because this is the only thing I have done in all games.
Halo MCC came out. Broken game. Didn’t play that much because of that. But only cared about kills when I played online. Old Halo 3 feeling is dead.
Halo 5 came out. Still here, killing.
In Halo 5 I am slowly trying to get the feeling back, what Halo is about. Having fun, enjoying the game. But it’s hard after all this kill obsession.
I could probably discuss this forever and I’m sure there’s details I’ve forgotten.
But I just started to not care anymore. I didn’t care about winning, I had no one to share it with. I think many KDers are lone wolves. They don’t care about winning. (some do, there’s different kinds of KDers)… People competing about having the best KD. People trying to see how many people they can kill and how little deaths they have. Makes them see progress maybe?
I’m one of the KD-cancers out there. But I haven’t always been. And I could also discuss positive things about it. But I get why people hate us.
I just like killing, and I don’t like dying. That doesn’t mean I won’t sacrifice myself to capture a flag. But it’s harder now, especially in BTB. It’s not like I’m not trying to help my team. I help them a lot.
I have slowly started to play objectives again and it feels fun. But I’m not gonna lie and say I care about winning like I used to.
Feel free to hate on me, I don’t expect nothing else. Just wanted to share one KD-coward’s story with you.