My New Machinima

This is my first proper machinima, I know it can be drastically improved so, please, be respectful and only leave constructive criticism.
Thanks,
Marvelman19

http://youtu.be/Cd40BqnCZrk

Halo Reach © Microsoft Corporation. The Alien Kings was created under Microsoft’s “Game Content Usage Rules” using assets from Halo Reach. It is not endorsed by Microsoft and does not reflect the views or opinions of Microsoft or anyone officially involved in producing or managing Halo Reach. As such, it does not contribute to the official narrative of the fictional universe, if applicable.
http://www.xbox.com/en-US/Community/Developer/Rules

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/marvelman19

Original Story:

Two people are standing in a building. One is sleeping. One of them says “Wake up my friend.” He woke up. He said “Where am I?” “Were in a building, we must explore.” So they wen’t outside. They found a person. They tried to talk to him but he shot one of them. But his friend killed him. They found a shelter. And who ever came in they killed. Then they wen’t outside to look in the other buildings. Suddenly a alien appeared in a space ship. Then one of the friends spot another spaceship. They got in it and flew away and did tricks. But then lots of spaceships surrounded them and took them to the alien king. He made them slaves. One day ,when they were outside to clean the city, they found another spaceship and flew away. When they landed they found themselves in a forest. The a friendly alien appeared and took them to his king. They made friends with the king, but one day the evil king’s assistant found them but just then the good king appeared, they battled. The nice king got killed. The friends together killed the alien and became king.
The end!