Was playing on Dispatch, the WA variant of Escape from A.R.C, playing it fairly straight. Early on guarding one door into the base was like playing wack-a-mole as I repeatedly smacked people clambering up. But then, I saw him.
An ONI Scouthog, streaking across the battlefield. It ran over one of my teammate like he wasn’t even there. And anoth- oh, no. That one was rubber-banding. But the Scouthog. I stared it down. He wasn’t the mission, but I knew we’d never win so long as he was in the way.
“I’ll handle this,” I promised solemnly. My team offered only silence in reply. They understood. Also, my mic wasn’t it.
I spawned and Scouthog as well. An urban variant. His armor would be stronger, but mine, fresher. I had one chance. I emerged from the garage behind the wheel of my weapon, and the enemy drove passed. I gave chase. At first, I’m not sure he fully realized what he was up against. As our battle began, I quickly pciked up that of the two of us, I possessed the greater skill with a steering wheel. But what he lacked in technique, he made up for in resourcefulness.
He drove back through his team’s territory, hoping to lead me to my death. He underestimated me at the cost of his teammate’s life. But that went both ways, and as our battle drew out, I watched him splatter two more of my allies. The madness had to stop. With cool eyes and a full heart, I sideswiped him into a wall, where my team promptly gunned him down. As a trophy, I took his hog for my own.
No sooner had I pulled the hog out than I spotted another ONI Scouthog spawn from their territory. I stopped as I read the gamertag. It couldn’t be.
It was. Defend the Garage? I am Palmer. This son of a yoink needs to be put in his place. I gunned the engine in pursuit once more. He too, seemed to remember me from our last encounter. Our duel took us away from the battle, through the tunnels, all the way back to the cliffside of the home base, and back again. On the second loop around the base, a brave member of my team attempted to intervene. He leapt into the passenger seat of the enemy scouthog with daring precision.
My teammate however, did not proceed to beat the enemy to death, which leads me to believe that he was so surprised he’d gotten the hijack that he became paralyzed with glee. It was up to me, not just to take this -Yoink- down, but save his hostage. Our duel headed back to the home base, back to the cliffs, He attempted a retreat. I blocked it. He attempted to skirt around. I wouldn’t allow it. He only saw one way out. The enemy turned around, and in defeat, drove for the cliff edge.
“NO!” I screamed. He still had a hostage. My team was paralyzed to silence with fear and anticipation. Also, none of them had mics in.
At the last second, his hostage jumped out, and thruster packed to safety. The enemy touched the water, which I can only assume had suffered a recent nitro-glycerin spill, because it then exploded. I stopped, opened up my messages app, found his gamertag, and sent the message “I want you to tell all your friends about the Scouthog fight you lost.”
His response came back, “It will live on in legends sir.”
I smirked. If Scouthogs were capable of bows, mine would have. As I drove back to the battle, I caught sight of a Gungoose, and a familiar gamertag. Just to remind him who was boss, I flipped his Gungoose with enough force to catapult him into the air.
Oh, and my team lost that match. Best time I ever had in Warzone Assault.