Help with a script?

Hey all! I’m currently working on the second episode of my Halo 3 MCC machinima, “2, 4, 1, 10”, and I was wondering if you guys could please look at part of my script, and make suggestions. I would especially like help from people familiar with the machinima “Red vs Blue” as I make multiple references in the series

Sigma: Female ONI agent
Epsilon: Male ONI agent

Sigma and Epsilon are walking through Valhalla. They are approached by a red soldier, who says “Halt, blues!”

Sigma: Oh lord, not these guys…

Red: There is blue on your armor! Our purpose is to kill the blues! You are under arrest!

Epsilon: What is this guy’s problem?

Sigma: They’re simulation troopers from Project freelancer. Worst case scenario, we just kill them all. They’re a bunch of incompetent idiots.
Epsilon: Just tell em we’re freelancers or something.

Sigma turns towards the red.
Sigma: We’re not blues! We’re freelancers! Command sent us!

Red: Freelancers? To aid our glorious conquest against the blueness plaguing this land? But your armor has blue…

Sigma:…

Epsilon: It’s to fool the blues!

Sigma: Nice save

Red: Alright, come to the base…
Gunshot rings out, and he dies.
Red: OW! THE BACK OF MY HEAD!
Behind him we see an insurrectionist
Sigma: What? What the heck is the insurrection doing here? Cover me!
Sigma begins to run after him
Epsilon: Damn it Sig!
He sighs, and starts shooting at the insurrectionists

So you are straight up taking the concept of Red Vs. Blue and trying to make a spin off?

> 2533274810191683;2:
> So you are straight up taking the concept of Red Vs. Blue and trying to make a spin off?

Yes and no. While they may encounter the occasional Sim trooper, EMERALD (ONI section 3) is not related to RVB at all. It’s set in the same world, sorta like W2Daern’s Tell me Why You’re Here series, but uses no real RVB characters. I just felt like it would be an interesting concept to. While there will be one freelancer, Sigma and Epsilon are only pretending to be freelancers to fool the sim troopers.