Have You Ever Seen the Moa Farms?

Have you ever wondered what kind of things your neighbors do when the shades go down? I sure do. I used to live next door to a guy who always smelled like phosphorous. I could never figure it out; any time I asked him about it, he claimed he was developing photography in his basement. A likely story, right?

I eventually found out he was smuggling aftermarket plasma grenades; I read it on one of the bulletin boards in town. Unfortunately, the news didn’t break on time, and I never had a chance to confront the defiler. From what I heard, most of the grenades he shipped from his house didn’t even work. You know when you throw a sticky and it either goes right through a player or simply fails to explode for no apparent reason? Some neighbor, I guess!

Another neighbor of mine ran a Moa match making service. It sounds pretty bad, but he actually did a pretty good job of things. People would sign in to the property with their Moa, and this guy would help them find good matches for their Moas to play and mate with. Personally, I had some reservations when I found out the guy would put like 8 Moa in the same room as part of this program, but the Moa always looked pretty happy with the situation, so I kept my mouth shut.

This guy was running his business right next door to me. I was living on 341 Forge Boulevard at the time, as I recall. New houses would spring up constantly on that road, although they all tended to look pretty much the same. During the time I spent in that neighborhood, I never noticed any problems wtih this guy’s Moa program. For a good couple of years, everyone seemed to use it without a hitch.

Reecntly, though, I’ve heard that the place hasn’t been running on all cylinders. I think the guy who used to own it actually sold it off to another guy, but I don’t know all of the details about it. I have my own Moa to take care of, you know? Now, I hear that the establishment is actually turning people away when they show up. They sometimes take the time to find some new friends for your beautiful Moa, but then they shoo you out the door and ask you to come back later. Cruel, no?

I would totally trust the guy who used to run the place to get things back on track in no time, for sure. I haven’t lived there for a little while, though, so I don’t really know much about the new dude. He sounds like a great guy, but some of his marketing promotions and program alterations don’t make a lot of sense on the surface. Moreover, he has had some trouble keeping his advertising campaigns in order: last month I got a flyer in the mail beckoning me to bring my Moa into town for a Mothers Day celebration of some sort. I didn’t pay it much attention (I don’t ever read the flyers anyway), but at the same time it just makes me wonder what’s going on with the Moa farm these days.

Ah, that explains my Beachhead Score Attack last night - I took a sticky to the chest and thought that was it. “Right,” I said, “I’m taking you with me” and ran back at the Grunt that stuck me. The plasma went off and took him out, but my shields barely flared.

Return to Sender

I think my neighbour runs the Waypoint server farm - he always looks harassed and there’s clouds of steam coming from the windows. I understand that he’s not been the same since he moved to this neighbourhood. Every so often the local pet store delivers a new box of hamsters and takes away a bag of sad, smoking rodent corpses. I have no sympathy though - everyone knows that gerbils are better 'cos they’re more active at night. Mostly.

A few weeks ago he went completely ape, running around shouting greetings at everyone. At least, that’s what I thought until I realised he was shouting “Halo Halo Halo” instead of “Hello Hello Hello.” I swear his beard caught fire with all the excitement, but then the lights went out in his house and it’s been a bit quiet since.

He gets lots of visitors (really odd people on the whole), but when they ask him a question, he thinks about it for a long time and then encodes his reply which they then have to decode. What is it with this guy?

What does the next posters neighbour do?