Halo: Hope, short story

Halo: Hope, written by nkTJH

Note: Sorry if there are spelling errors, enjoy!

-------------------------(Chapter One)--------------------------

It was a normal day as any, the sun was out, the weather
was warm, and the planet was glassed. He thought
about what’s left of the army was going through,
hell if, anything. He steped out of the pelican, then
he walked slowly over to the cafeteria. He felt the ground
shake, Autumns probably taking off.

He took the elevator down to the cafeteria. “No Moa burgers?”
Rick said. His friend Jack heard him,
“Dude that **** is gross” his friend replied.
“Since when where you such a critic?”, “Who isn’t?” Jack asked. “Shouldn’t
you be in cryo sleep?” Rick asked, “I stayed here to clean up
the cafeteria, Captains orders.” “First you where a critic
now you’re uptight? Two changes in one day is quite alot for
a guy like you.”, “Problem?” Jack asked. Rick then heard a
voice over the intercom, it was the Captain,
“Greg and Sanders, report to the bridge immediately”
“Pfft, your last name is Sanders, what do you sand?” Rick asked
“Just go to the bridge.”

----------------------(Chapter Two)-----------------------------
August 30th, 2552,
aboard the bridge of the UNSC cruiser “Pillar Of Autumn”

The bridge was within walking distance, “Hello Captain Keyes”
They shook hands.“It’s an honor to have you back, Private.” Keyes replied
“I’m initiating the ‘Cole Protocol’,you may never get to see your
family again, understood?” Keyes said. “Understood, sir” His
voice was a bit shakey. God, I hope they are alive.
“Right now the Autumn’s in slipspace, heading toward an artifact
our AI ‘Cortana’ found. Anyway, I want you boys back in cryo.”
“Yes, sir”

---------------------(Chapter Three)----------------------------
September 19, 2552,
Cryo-Chamber 4 on board the UNSC cruiser “Pillar Of Autumn”

“Wake up!, Wake up! Wa-(plasma fire)” He woke up, kicked the
pod door open. “****!” Jack cried, “I have been shot! We
need to get the hell out of here, Rick!” They ran as
fast as they possibly could, plasma hiting the ground and walls
right next to them. “There!” Rick said, “That will take us to
the life boats!” They passed dead ODST’s. “Split up here, I think
we can flank them!” instead, they got flanked by incoming Elites
and Grunts, they where now running in opposite directions.
Dead End. Oh, why did it have to end like this?
What did I ever do to deserve this?. He something green
come out of the shadows, it had to be a Spartan.
He felt something he never felt since this whole war started, Hope.

> Halo: Hope, written by nkTJH
>
> Note: Sorry if there are spell errors, enjoy!
>
> Contents
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
> Chapter 2
> Chapter 3
> Epilogue
>
>
> -------------------------(Chapter One)--------------------------
>
> It was a normal day as any, the sun was out, the weather
> was warm, and the planet was glassed. He thought
> about what’s left of the army was going through,
> hell if anything. He steped out of the pelican, then
> he walked slowly over to the cafeteria. He felt the ground
> shake, Autumns probably taking off.
>
> 2 minutes later
> he was at the cafeteria. “No Moa burgers?” Rick said. His
> friend Jack heard him,
> “<mark>Dude that sh** is gross</mark>” he replied.
> “Since when where you such a critic?”, “Who isn’t?” Jack asked. “Shouldn’t
> you be in cryo sleep?” Rick asked, “I stayed here to clean up
> the cafeteria, Captains orders.” “First you where a critic
> now you’re uptight? Two changes in one day is quite alot for
> a guy like you.”, “Problem?” Jack asked. Rick then heard a
> voice over the intercom, it was the Captain,
> “Greg and Sanders, report to the bridge immediately”
> “Pfft, your last name is Sanders, what do you sand?” Rick asked
> “Just go to the bridge.”

You should really clean this up a tad IMO. It’s a little hard to follow.

<mark>Also, please do not bypass the profanity filter. It’s against forum regulations.</mark>

> > Halo: Hope, written by nkTJH
> >
> > Note: Sorry if there are spell errors, enjoy!
> >
> > Contents
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------
> > Chapter 2
> > Chapter 3
> > Epilogue
> >
> >
> > -------------------------(Chapter One)--------------------------
> >
> > It was a normal day as any, the sun was out, the weather
> > was warm, and the planet was glassed. He thought
> > about what’s left of the army was going through,
> > hell if anything. He steped out of the pelican, then
> > he walked slowly over to the cafeteria. He felt the ground
> > shake, Autumns probably taking off.
> >
> > 2 minutes later
> > he was at the cafeteria. “No Moa burgers?” Rick said. His
> > friend Jack heard him,
> > “<mark>Dude that sh** is gross</mark>” he replied.
> > “Since when where you such a critic?”, “Who isn’t?” Jack asked. “Shouldn’t
> > you be in cryo sleep?” Rick asked, “I stayed here to clean up
> > the cafeteria, Captains orders.” “First you where a critic
> > now you’re uptight? Two changes in one day is quite alot for
> > a guy like you.”, “Problem?” Jack asked. Rick then heard a
> > voice over the intercom, it was the Captain,
> > “Greg and Sanders, report to the bridge immediately”
> > “Pfft, your last name is Sanders, what do you sand?” Rick asked
> > “Just go to the bridge.”
>
> You should really clean this up a tad IMO. It’s a little hard to follow.
>
> <mark>Also, please do not bypass the profanity filter. It’s against forum regulations.</mark>

I know. Kinda working on it. Edited it BTW.

No problem.

Here’s a tip - Write it out on MS Word or a Notebook…some other program before posting here. It gives you better options for structure and obvious time to proof-read. It seems interesting but being a writer myself, spelling errors turn me off. Fix it up and you’ll be in business, sir.

If you’d like to use as a reference for structure, here’s a story I’ve been writing for some of my pals in the Yo Thread. I wrote it as a little piece of satire and it’s kind of booming. They all love it.

http://halo.xbox.com/Forums/yaf_postst40670_Halo--Engaged.aspx

> No problem.
>
> Here’s a tip - Write it out on MS Word or a Notebook…some other program before posting here. It gives you better options for structure and obvious time to proofread. It seems interesting but being a writer myself, spelling errors turn me off. Fix it up and you’ll be in business, sir.
>
> If you’d like to use as a refernce for structure, here’s a story I’ve been writing for some of my pals in the Yo Thread. I wrote it as a little piece of satire and it’s kind of booming. They all love it.
>
> http://halo.xbox.com/Forums/yaf_postst40670_Halo--Engaged.aspx

Alright thanks, cleaning it up like you said. I get errors because I just like to type too fast XP.

I did that on another site with a different short story. Got a lot of criticism for it so I cleaned it. Came out much better.

Good luck and have a happy new year.

> I did that on another site with a different short story. Got a lot of criticism for it so I cleaned it. Came out much better.
>
> Good luck and have a happy new year.

One more thing. You seem like an expert writer, so could you rate my short story?
I appreciate it if you do.

Far from an “expert” but I have written a few shorts and I have been putting ideas down for years.

Started a novel idea a couple years ago but that caused a LOT of writers blocks. It’s currently in limbo.

I’ll give it a look and give you my thoughts.