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*Original post. Click at your own discretion.
I don’t enjoy killing, and as such, I request, nay, INSIST, that there be substitute gameplay mechanics that suit my disposition.
I require paintball and water-balloon fight playlists, a campaign that is wholy nonviolent (such as Master Chief visiting a hardware store to enforce the warranty on Cortana, and have her repaired).
I also believe murder should not go unpunished. I would like an assassination where, after bludgeoning someone to death with the stock of my gun in self defense, my Spartan cries, begs the Lord for forgiveness, foots the funeral costs for the victim’s family, and turns himself in to the authorities. Space crime must not go unspacepunished.
I thank you for your consideration, and bid you good day.
I hear word that there will be a specific gametype where if you kill someone police come, arrest that spartan and starts a lengthy court case that involves the deceased spartan’s family with a possibility of thew player landing anywhere up to a real time life sentence
I’m sure the digital families of all the Covenant salute your aid and comfort for them, though I point out that as we’ve basically watched their digital soldiers kill unarmed digital human civilians mainly the same group in the most brutal fashions possible over and over depending on the difficulty setting. They sadly seem not to share your pacifist mentality. Though know this that once the Reach disk has been retired to the gamestop bargain bin, or some dusty corner of the game shelf next to ODST that your digital Reach Spartan Character has retired to Forgeworld where they are now enjoying the good life and probably found god in the form of a small mechanical flying ball who can’t line up bridge corners. amen.
> I hear word that there will be a specific gametype where if you kill someone police come, arrest that spartan and starts a lengthy court case that involves the deceased spartan’s family with a possibility of thew player landing anywhere up to a real time life sentence
Like Halo, but mixed with American History X, or Shawshank Redemption.
That is quite satisfactory, and relevant to my interests.
> Huh?
>
> Is this a crack at Christians?
Kidding aside, let me stress that I mean nobody any offense.
Just jokes, my dude. Just jokes.
Unless you mean my NEIGHBOR Christian. That guy is such a dweeb.
That depends. This post is supposed to be parodying the ridiculous requests some people on these forums make, asking 343 to cater to their specific tastes, such as copying Halo 2/3 exactly, adding only a new campaign and/or multiplayer maps (similar to the Call of Duty business model). Whether or not it is funny is up to you. Personally, I think its hilarious.
Or what if we got to live a normal day in Johns life?
-wake up,
-take a shower,
-have a cup of coffee,
-check up on Cortana,
-walk a grunt,
-make jokes with Johnson and the gang,
-throw a surprise birthday party in the barracks for keyes,
-have a couple beers with Arby,
-chill in your bunk with Linda, Kelly, and Kurt while watching movies,
-give Cortana a goodnight kiss
-and tuck yourself in all cozy like in your cryo tube
Sounds like the best freakin game ever! haha wow actually kind of does
