Halo Allies and Their Intelligence

I love the Bungie AI, so sweet and dimwitted, and as a PC user who grew up with barely any knowledge of the internet, I’m glad to finally be able to see that 343 has only improved this, (I do mean this honestly and sincerely.) Some of my favorite memories include wiping out Fireteam Zulu after the tank section is over on AOTCR, Murdering the whole group of marines holed up in the building during Metropolis, gunning down every last wounded, marine, and construction worker during the bunker in The Storm, payback for all the idiotic pain they’ve caused me, and now… every last near infinitely respawning crew member, soldier, and Spartan IV in the Pelican hanger on Shutdown. I’d like to give a formal thanks for each one of your dishonorable sacrifices. Thank you so much rocket marine for missing every single shot, and not even trying to defend yourself when the Grunt inevitably gets within point blank range. Thank you Warthog gunner for focusing every last bullet on a corpse we killed five minutes ago while we’re in the middle of a firefight with 3 pairs of Hunters and a Wraith. Thank you Scorpion gunner for assuming that just because I left the tank for 2 seconds that gives you permission to drive. Thank you random marine I didn’t know existed for throwing a grenade at me while I’ve been using my shotgun to clear out Covenant squadrons for the past 10 minutes. Thank you Halo 1 marines for always thinking the best course of action is to willingly jump in front of the 4 treaded death machine barreling nowhere towards you at 5 miles an hour, causing my former allies to pile off and turn on me. Thank you Kat for being the worst driver to ever exist, repeatedly running over and bashing those nearby, before driving off the nearest cliff. And finally, a most heartfelt thank you to the Halo 4 Auto-Sentry for being more competent than any friendly AI ever, having better aim than I ever will, barely being a nuisance when the Knights deploy them against me, and absolutely murdering every type of enemy AI, especially… the Watchers, I could use up all 7,500 characters this site gives me per post, to say how much I detest these spiritual sequels to the Halo 2 Drones, with the power to magically spawn Crawlers and Turrets, and to respawn Knights, reflect grenades, and give the enemy hardlight shielding. But the Auto-Sentry laughs in the face of these foul demons as it murders them with the most insulting weapon to be killed by since an empty energy sword. Thank you Bungie and 343, for adding friendly AI to give my game experience just the right amount of fun and frustration.