Halo 5 hasn't gotten me laid yet?

Games Halo 5: Guardians
1

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K/D count wont compensate for my small -Yoink!-.

2

Nope, sure won’t…

3

You’d better keep whining on the forums then. Or if you’re really serious, tell 343 how you’re leaving Halo forever because they’re worse than Satan.

4

Is this for real?