General Eureka's or failings of The Halo

Warning: un-sugar coated truth ahead. No flowery, eloquent speech. Just the facts, with no extra unnecessary fluff to distract yar and waste page space. It’s long and hard to read but my spirit is tired and writing a proper letter is too taxing on my soul; it is what it is. Now prepare to listen and listen good, for I shall put you on the path to glorious redemption! Halo used to be like the warmth of the sun to me. But then came Halo 4. It was sappy and for soap opera-watching, wine-drinking housewives. You can’t make Halo sappy, Halo is oo-rah!
No piano music, and only like one time one of the old tunes came back from legacy halo and it was redone when it should not have been redone because it was glorious as it was and redoing it says it wasn’t good enough as it was. Aliens don’t speak Engrish anymore: this was understandable in Reach because of the grim, impending doom tone, but it should’ve come back because it was a great thing. Having grunts say “This one’s for your mama!” and Brutes saying “ow ow ow!” was greatness. Johnson and the Keyes’ never got mentioned again, as if they never mattered. Battle rife and carbine used to be fine weapons, now underpowered even after updates. Jet pack underpowered. Everyone has plasma 'nades so using vehicles is extremely risky and splatterin’s suicide. Used to be able to count on good ol’ plasma pistol to git ya through anything, even legendary, but now they’re underpowered and deplete too fast. Plasma rifle was in every single game before…it was part of halo, like Marty’s tunes…just how could you replace it?
Elites are butt ugly now. The ones from Reach looked great. This Lasky guy and Palmer…they’re no Keyes and Johnson. Forward Unto Dawn was sappy and just didn’t leave an impression; it also looked like you were doing a high school show for the CW. Nightfall was way too gritty, why does everything have to be gritty now? Why can’t anything be pretty and colorful?
It wasn’t Halo enough either. It promised to be really great and didn’t measure up at all. And those other Spartans and Roland are just annoying; constantly yapping things you’re supposed to care about but don’t. Those ain’t real Spartans either, they’re wannabes; same thing with Roland, he’s a wannabe AI. Are there ODST’s in the game? I can’t tell, I know there’s those black armored doods but they don’t look like ODST’s. Redesigned Marine’s armor and not for the better.(wait they’re not Marines anymore, like they’re supposed to be in Halo; now we have multiple branches)
Where are the Engineers? In ODST they were a big friggin’ deal. Then they just went off the radar. Forerunners used to be so mysterious, that was part of the deal, and it was better that way. Not mysterious anymore now that we know them. The dark planetoid rising at the end of Halo 3 looked like it was going be a Flood home world or something but turned out to not be intriguing. Flood is Halo.
The sights on Covenant weapons are too funky, give ya a migraine. Color is great but it don’t belong in some things. The crystals didn’t break like in Halo 3 when you whacked 'em. The plants didn’t move when you brushed past. The little sequences when you activate switches or consoles are annoying. Armor looked good in Reach, actually everything looked better in Reach. The Tron colors are overpowering and not Halo-esque.
The Prometheans are completely unappealing and aren’t as mighty as we were led to believe in the Combat Evolved terminals. The way they’re presented as supposed to be more badass than elites is heresy; black armored elite spec ops are supposed to be the epitome of badass, not these new, weird things. The assassinations are too quick; in Reach the slowness made them more epic, satisfying and cinematic. Killcam and instant respawn are not Halo and are annoying. They make it something other than Halo. And do I really need you to show me dying again? I’m pissed enough from the first time.
Active camo shows exactly where you are on motion tracker now, in Reach you knew it was in the middle of a dot swarm but it was less dumbed down. Anyone can have a

pocket shotgun now, that boltshot thingamajigger. The scorpion tattoo on the Scorpion was switched for a skull, this is just wrong. It also sounds like a missile firing now, not a tank round. The way they had it in Reach was great, it felt tankly. Screw the Mantis I don’t like it, it’s too strange and Alien to me.
Firefight was a great way to keep single playing when you already had done the campaign a million times and didn’t want to do multiplayer because you get mad when other people pwn you, but it got replaced with the chore called Spartan ops. And you cannot make me care about those pretentious new Spartans who aren’t even real Spartans. The poses are pretentious and silly. Armor abilities are cool but Halo 3’s equipment should make a comeback. The abilities are also lame compared to Reach.
The ordnance drops really are where it becomes apparent you sold your soul, the rewarding of kills so much screams call of duty(I’ve only ever played one COD by the way but I still can tell) and the weapons that are part of the map become very unimportant, which is not Halo at all. The multiplayer maps all seem the same and are unpretty, except for the one about the star; Valhalla was much prettier than Ragnarok, which is quite bland.
The SAW is so powerful that you can take on 2 opponents at once with it, and lot’s of people have them and there’s lot’s of ammo. Medals for everything, even generic kills makes medals unmeaningful. All the medals being blue makes them less cool and special and pretty looking. Showing the location of all the power weapons on the HUD feels dumbed down.
You showed the Chief’s face. You showed the Chief’s face.
How could you do this? Why are you so bent on putting your stamp on Halo that you are changing its identity? You made Chief helpless against the Didact! Chief ain’t a helpless kind of guy! You made the most powerful weapon the incinerator cannon not the SPANKR, sacrilege that is! You promised before that the game would be open and outsidey, like CE, but it wasn’t. There was outside-ness, but it didn’t feel the same, it wasn’t outdoorsy, with pine trees and snow and stuff.
Pelican wasn’t as great to fly as it should have been if you were going to make it playable; the laser particularly was lame. No skulls to find, just terminals which are too easy to find. And the terminals just weren’t as interesting as CE Anniversary ones or Halo 3 ones, or Reach datapads or ODST videos. Totally demystified Forerunners too. The entire Forerunnner enchilada was bad, right down to the weapons, which are all unappealing. Recycling the Spartan Ops maps is tacky and lazy. I’m sure there’s more than this wrong but my weary mind forgot the rest. My sister won’t coop anymore either by the way; she spends one minute playing and rage quits. If I can get her to play, it has to be Halo 3 or ODST.
Combat Evolved remastered changed the way elites looked especially the stealth ones…just why…And the reworked graphics just didn’t look as good as Reach, especially the elites. The faces should have looked Reach-like, but the armor should have been the same as the original. The Marine armor was made to look like Reach trooper, not CE, which makes it less true as a remake. Cortana doesn’t look like she did, she looks like a different game’s Cortana. The cinematics look wrong, I’m guessing because of the new frame rate; the mouths move different than the words and it’s too fast.
Halo 2 remastered had way different music. One of the best parts of Halo 2 was the sound, which was iconic, and you thought it wasn’t good enough…The energy sword did not sound like a damn energy sword; the way it used to sound was iconic, like when you hear a light saber switching on. You even heard that sound in one of the Reach trailers, at the end when you see the Elite snarl. The other melee sounds are weak and not the same. Halo has always had satisfying, meaty melee sounds. The Shipmaster’s eyes were not green. The Arbiter’s gold eyes aren’t unique anymore. The Wraith’s secondary is green not blue. Terminals in Halo 2 Anniversary were too dumbed down and un-mysterious compared to the CE Anniversary ones. The way the Monitor spells things out makes me feel like you think I’m too dumb to figure things out. The Gravemind looks like female genitalia. By the way, I’m trading mine in because it’s such an affront, and I’m not the only one, as of this moment it’s at the top of Gamestop’s trade in list. (Was) And worse than that, Halo 5 isn’t on Gamespot’s top ten list of upcoming games; even Hatred is, (was) which is deeply troubling.
5 Beta: I didn’t even know how to play, that’s how un-Halo it is. And not just because the damn buttons are different again. That smg is not my smg. This aim down sight’s -Yoink- is outrageous. That rocket launcher ain’t no spankr. When I saw that the rage blew my mind. The friggin’ sword is pink and has a different shape. The chit chat is unnecessary and changes the mood of Halo multiplayer. The beginning and end of the matches when it shows the hubris of the team is pretentious and unnecessary.
I could not be more disillusioned with the state of Halo, one of my greatest loves. I’m going to try to pretend Reach was the last Halo, for sanity’s sake. The plebeians who like 343’s work just like it because it’s fancy and flashy. They were never in love with Bungie-Halo because they were too dim to comprehend and recognize its greatness, and they’re too weak-minded to see that you are changing it into something else entirely.
Do you know how I fell in love with Bungie-Halo? I suffer from treatment resistant depression and when I was at my worst slump a few years ago, Halo helped me cope. It was my retreat. Everything in my life sucked except the greatness of Halo, the story, the music, the fun. What’s wrong with how Halo was before? Were the hundreds of millions you made off of it with Bungie’s style not enough? I bought several books and every game but I don’t know if I will buy anymore, I’m just disgusted. I tried to like Halo 4, the

new beta, the MCC, Forward Unto Dawn, Nightfall, but I just can’t. I watched Forward Unto Dawn twice and replayed Halo 4 several times. Made myself not quit when I wanted to quit the 5 beta. To think, I only ever bought a 360 or Xbox One for Halo. I bought the hard drive accessory for the 360 so I could play Halo 2 and CE on it even though I had them on my computer. I used to play the campaigns over and over and over because I was wary of the strange people on the internet and multiplayer. Didn’t start multiplayer until Reach had been out for a while.
Please, please just stop with the new-ness…keep making Halo but keep it Bungie. And make Peter Jackson take it to the silver screen. Just Peter Jackson, too, only someone who does Lord of the Rings caliber work can be trusted. I’m glad that Blomkamp guy didn’t pan out. Disrict Nine was just an uncharming grit fest. 300 slow-mo effects and lighting would be pretty cool too. Leonidas whacking folks in slow mo is how Chief needs to be presented, that performance really captured the glory and greatness of the combatant. The dialogue was not modern and dumbed down. The ending where it shows Plataea and the charge and the bit about overthrowing “mysticism and tyranny” is gold. The music and the gold field when the queen was told the news was beautiful and poignant.

The good: Halo CE
-the interaction between Chief and Cortana was charming
-Captain Keyes was a good character, complete with pipe
-the buildup to The Flood was mysterious and engaging and scary, complete with blood spatter everywhere and creepy green goo falling from the ceiling, and Cortana warning Chief emphatically but yet not revealing too much about the new threat
-AI had funny things to say and was fun to listen to, Human and Covenant both
-the way the Grunts run, the way the Elites move
-sounds Covenant machinery made when you got close, and the sounds of the Spirits and Wraiths and Ghosts
-It was all about the Corps, had a oo-rah! feel
-the death sounds especially for the elites were highly entertaining
-titles for missions and mission sub-parts, like “…and the horse you rode in on”
-the night time-ness was coolio
-the whole story, the Covenant, the Forerunners, Reach, Spartans was all so intriguing, fascinating, mysterious
-environments were amazing: the pine trees, snow, waterfall, chasms, tunnels you could fit a tank through
-just driving the hog around was fun
-enemies don’t die after just one shot like in other games, they take longer which is satisfying and don’t leave you wondering why you bothered
-sticking folks! Needlin’ folks! The rocket launcher is called a spankr. The sniper feels really hefty and powerful
-the music
-the 4 difficulty settings and their descriptions
-sniper mission, hog race mission, banshee mission, etc.
-vehicles (which are simple to use)
-melee sounds are meaty and satisfying
-the pink needles, blue and green plasma, purple and red and orange and blue bloods
-Legendary ending
-headshots and all around weapon handling is easy
-simple controls
-only mild gore
-grav lifts is fun
-different Johnson speech for every difficulty
-no aim down sights -Yoink-, you can actually hit things easily with “hip fire” (we don’t play games for a realistic, or more appropriately, pseudo-realistic experience; other games that force you to ADS to hit someone, even just a few feet away are ridiculous and annoying)
-good players can pwn but they’re not invincible or ruin the game for everyone else like in ************* battlefield
Halo 2
-story and story presentation; Halo 2 was when I got hooked on Halo, I had to buy the xbox after that to continue the story after I played it on pc
-Arby, Johnson, Miranda, Prophets, Lord Hood
-You could see the camaraderie between Chief and Johnson, Arby and Ship Master, even Elites and Grunts kinda; the part when Johnson pounds Chief’s HEV door before the Delta Halo drop is particularly endearing
-brutes could be troublesome if they went ape on ya
-dual wield, boarding. ODST’s, buggers, brutes, ultras, black armored Elites
-you could kill 2 or 3 grunts with one shot of battle rifle; brute shot that ricochet and did lot’s of melee damage; gauss, ‘nuff said; smg’s
-on pc you could use the sniper up close, on controller too difficult
-the music was just friggin’ unbelievable
-the moment when 343 says “The Ark, of course” and Arby comes from behind and says “…and where, Oracle, is that?” and then it goes to Chief coming in on it and it transitions to Chief and Lord Hood
-got to use the sword a lot, active camo, which you could use without having to slow way down
-In Amber Clad is a rockin’, splendiferous name
-AI speeches are highly entertaining
-environments had different feel, less wide open than CE, but still cool; High Charity, Delta Halo, the beach
-Chief really had a badass feel to him, “To give the Covenant back their bomb,” ooh-rah!
-box art was hawt
Halo 3
-that part when Chief finds the remade Halo ring, when he goes off by himself after the Cortana specter appears; you could feel the tension, and the music helped
-Arby coming back to High Charity to extract the Chief at the end of Cortana, that was sweet
-I can shoot Phantoms down, and if I do it right I can 3 shot ‘em!
-equipments, Spartan laser, mobile turrets
-“Wake me when you need me;” ending the same way it all started in cryo; that part when you see Chief reaching Cortana as The Ark blows up behind and Cortana rises
-terminals that have lot’s of meat to add to the story, and they say different things on different difficulties
-terminals have this personal feel to them, you can tell the Librarian and Didact were feeling folks
-boarding a Scarab, baby! Several times
-skulls make it more replayable and are fun to find
-Hornet is funnest UNSC aircraft of series

-liked being able to shoot Wraith in back to take out quickly
-4 cool types of grenades, especially the fire ones
ODST
-colors
-cut scene presentation
-cut scenes were meaty! Struggling with a Brute Chieftain with rock and roll in the background, Romeo getting Biofoam in his punctured lung, HEV’s dropping from the sky and bouncing off -Yoink-! HEV drop scene was amazing
-Firefly crew and references
-Engineer story, ONI
-mystery, especially the symbols, stone arrangements
-bunches of videos to find to further the story; also the way you would find them with flashing lights, visor outlines, car alarms
-graffiti
-trash cans you could jump in and get stuck inside
-night setting, noire-ness
-little nooks and crannies to explore, doors that open up that give shortcuts or let you see Engineers and symbols and rock arrangements
-you could go from one end of the world to the other encountering new enemies after you had cleared it already, and even sometimes find a ghost to board, or phantom to shoot
-ODST’s!
-Spec ops modified smg’s, auto mag headshot-machine, effective flame thrower, map with waypoints you could set
-caches, even some with mongeese
-firefight! Way to single play or coop that isn’t campaign or multiplayer, but not boring and chore-like like Spartan Ops
-free Halo 3 DLC, can fire fight as Johnson
-The Life trailer was good, I’d watch it before I had to go to school to pump me
-classy music
Halo Wars
-charming
-pretty environments, flowers, beautiful cut scenes; cut scene with Spartans rumbling with Elites was particularly glorious, as it was the first time we got to see Spartans throwing down movie-like
-music
-got to see earlier history
-black boxes, skulls were fun to find
-cut scene menu
-was fun and had variety; different armies you could play
Reach
-pretty! Flowers, grass, faces, plasma hitting -Yoink-, everything! Stunning skyboxes
-plasma launcher, grenade launcher, needle rifle, rocket hog, Revenant all great stuff
-death animations look convincing
-assassinations! Like how slow they are too, makes it more satisfying
-Elites are really badass in this one, and challenging, and aggressive; the way Elites should be
-sniper can be used for anti-materiel now
-the crashing sound when the concussion rifle is used
-cutscene presentation is great, showing us through a camera feed at times is cool
-the beginning where it shows the helmet on the dirt with a hole in it, with the powerful, moving score, then it goes to Noble 6 putting it on as he rides to the outpost is gold
-the score, especially the part when 6 jumps out the Pelican with Cortana is powerful and glorious
-seeing Halsey, and the interaction between her and Jorge, him calling her ma’am and making it sound like “mom”
-unlimited ammo in firefight, ability to tweak settings, more than one variant
-the medals were pretty
-jetpack, man! I love to use jetpacks in games, any game. Even if it makes me an easy target, I still want it. Armor lock! Camo! Hologram! I liked equipment in Halo 3 but this -Yoink- is good too. Better abilities than Halo 4, by a lot. Camo is achingly slow to use though, and shows your position on a map more or less…
-armor customization is nice, especially the visor color, but it was better when you still could make credits from campaign or firefight and not just multiplayer and firefight commendations
-great environments, especially the sniper mission; great multiplayer maps, especially Spire and Hemorrhage remake, Ridgeline
-at the beginning before we saw the Covenant there was a mystery build up
-forge world is beautiful
-Reveal trailer and Deliver Hope were great
-best mode was BTB heavies, by far, shoulda been in other games
-brought the Spirit back
-can drive forklifts!
-got to see UNSC power
-animals in environment
-stripped down assault rifle was cool touch

Halo 4
-the intro made Chief look badass; I also liked how it made him look like a one man wolf pack cuz that’s what I am
-Needler is threat to Chief again, was no threat at all when it couldn’t detonate in prior games
-liked being in a jungle again
-in the sniper mission we really got to use verticality and range
-the part where we ride a ghost like a bat outta hell over columns of grunts is fantastic
-Reveal trailer was awesome in every sense of the word; the one with the Prometheans wasn’t cuz it had Prometheans, and cuz it made Chief look vulnerable
MCC
-more skulls
-can set buttons to however you want, all games at once, inverted y axis for flight
-damn pretty, except Elites, they looked best in Reach

I’m tired and I’ve given you a gold mine already, so go now, fly, redeem yourselves and rekindle the lost flame my sons

> 2533274916761021;1:
> Elites are butt ugly now.

Oh I’m sorry are they suppose to have hot t its? And Vagies? You -Yoinking!- racist. Or speciest

> 2533274960623786;5:
> > 2533274916761021;1:
> > Elites are butt ugly now.
>
>
> Oh I’m sorry are they suppose to have hot t its? And Vagies? You -Yoinking!- racist. Or speciest

Ok… Thats enough of the internet today.

Bungie-Halo games will forever be better.

343 can make a good game, but the games they make aren’t true Halo games.

Yeah I didn’t care for the multiplayer, so I’m not going to touch what you said since it seems to generally run with my thoughts on it. Still, I feel you are off on quite a bit in terms of the campaign.

> No piano music, and only like one time one of the old tunes came back from legacy halo and it was redone when it should not have been redone because it was glorious as it was and redoing it says it wasn’t good enough as it was. Aliens don’t speak Engrish anymore: this was understandable in Reach because of the grim, impending doom tone, but it should’ve come back because it was a great thing. Having grunts say “This one’s for your mama!” and Brutes saying “ow ow ow!” was greatness.

Different contexts. The Covenant of Halo 4 were essentially backwoods “hicks” compared to the Covenant of previous games. The lack of English did not concern me, but it seems 343 may go the route of the non-Arbiter Covenant factions speaking their native languages while those led by the Arbiter speak English as was shown in the MCC cutscenes with Locke and Arby.

> Johnson and the Keyes’ never got mentioned again, as if they never mattered.

Because they did not matter in the context of Halo 4. Chief had more to worry about than those two.

> Elites are butt ugly now. The ones from Reach looked great.

Eh, I wasn’t a massive fan of the new Covies designs in general, but I understand why they are the way they are due to their origins.

> This Lasky guy and Palmer…they’re no Keyes and Johnson.

I’m glad Lasky wasn’t like Keyes given how mundane Keyes really was. He was just a stereotypical captain who got captured twice and then died. Lasky at least had a personality and was willing to challenge authority when he felt it was the right decision.

> Forward Unto Dawn was sappy and just didn’t leave an impression; it also looked like you were doing a high school show for the CW. Nightfall was way too gritty, why does everything have to be gritty now? Why can’t anything be pretty and colorful?

I don’t think an abundance of color would be appropriate for Nightfall’s setting. It primarily took place on the ruined surface of Installation 04 and the story dealt with survival against the elements and deceptive human nature. I thought Forward Unto Dawn did alright, it reminded me of the Starship Troopers movie. Neither were overwhelmingly amazing, but as side stories in the larger Halo universe I felt they did their jobs fine.

> It wasn’t Halo enough either. It promised to be really great and didn’t measure up at all. And those other Spartans and Roland are just annoying; constantly yapping things you’re supposed to care about but don’t. Those ain’t real Spartans either, they’re wannabes; same thing with Roland, he’s a wannabe AI. Are there ODST’s in the game? I can’t tell, I know there’s those black armored doods but they don’t look like ODST’s. Redesigned Marine’s armor and not for the better.(wait they’re not Marines anymore, like they’re supposed to be in Halo; now we have multiple branches)

Why are the Spartan-IVs only wannabes and why is Roland a wannabe AI? You just said it without actually explaining your reasoning. The S-IVs may not be the same as the S-IIs, but they aren’t supposed to be. They are “normal” people who either distinguished themselves in the war or showed great potential. They won’t be the always stoic S-IIs, they’ll be flawed individuals struggling to live up to the legacy of the Spartans. I wouldn’t have it any other way. As for Roland, isn’t what you accused him of the same logic with Cortana? “This cave is not a natural formation” ring a bell? But I’m glad Roland is the way he is, it gives him a personality all his own and does not just make him a Cortana clone.

> Where are the Engineers? In ODST they were a big friggin’ deal. Then they just went off the radar.

Scattered across the galaxy or in the hands of ONI, the UNSC or Covenant remnant forces. They’ve become high value targets and won’t just be thrown into the frontlines. Hell, I believe on the mission Infinity you can find a door that even says that Huragok personnel are locked away in the event of an emergency. But then again they were not in Halo 1-3 either despite Bungie having assets for them as far back as Halo 1.

> Forerunners used to be so mysterious, that was part of the deal, and it was better that way. Not mysterious anymore now that we know them. The dark planetoid rising at the end of Halo 3 looked like it was going be a Flood home world or something but turned out to not be intriguing. Flood is Halo.

What Flood environment do you know of that was metallic and covered in lights? That is your own fault for jumping to a conclusion. Most Halo fans who understood the story quickly believed it to be a shield world like the one in Ghosts of Onyx, and in a sense it was. And so what if the Forerunners aren’t completely mysterious anymore? Should they have stayed an unknown force forever? Sorry, but some mysteries need solving and yet all we know is still minor given they have millions of years of history we know little about.

> The sights on Covenant weapons are too funky, give ya a migraine. Color is great but it don’t belong in some things. The crystals didn’t break like in Halo 3 when you whacked 'em. The plants didn’t move when you brushed past. The little sequences when you activate switches or consoles are annoying. Armor looked good in Reach, actually everything looked better in Reach. The Tron colors are overpowering and not Halo-esque.

The lights weren’t all that bothersome to me. I’ll agree that the button pressing was ridiculous. I do prefer the more ancient looking Forerunner structures overrun by nature, but again the context of Halo 4 is important. Requiem was not like other Forerunner environments, it was still being maintained and active.

> The Prometheans are completely unappealing and aren’t as mighty as we were led to believe in the Combat Evolved terminals. The way they’re presented as supposed to be more badass than elites is heresy; black armored elite spec ops are supposed to be the epitome of badass, not these new, weird things.

There is a difference between Prometheans and Promethean Knights. The old Prometheans were flesh and blood warrior, the Knights were created from those warriors so they could effectively fight the Flood. But I do agree they weren’t very good enemies, to much like bullet-sponges. But that same complaint extends to the Brutes. I hope 343 finds a way to make the Prometheans better.

But if all you said was truth, it isn’t very convincing.