Facts about Master Chief

I thought it would be fun to compile a list of facts about Master Chief. I’ve listed a few of my favorites below. Feel free to add your own!

• Master Chief doesn’t lose consciousness when he goes into Cryosleep. He’s merely killing Elites with his thoughts.

• Reach wasn’t destroyed by the Covenant. It committed suicide when Master Chief left.

• Master Chief doesn’t catch flipped coins. They redirect themselves to his hand.

• Master Chief once stared at a star. A blackhole was born.

• Master Chief doesn’t travel through slip space. The galaxy just shifts to be where he wants it.

• Master Chief doesn’t have a last name because he ate it.

• Master Chief has never crashed onto a planet’s surface. The planet moved in order to catch Master Chief.

• The Covenant labeling Master Chief as “Demon” was a mistranslation. The word they use is actually, “God.”

• The Forerunners didn’t disappear unexpectedly. It was according to Master Chief’s plan.

• Chuck Norris once fought Master Chief. 3 days later, Chuck Norris grew a uterus.

• Master Chief destroys Covenant Assault Carriers simply by landing on them. The bombs are just for show. (Inspired by AssassinT28)

• Master Chief is not the new Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the old Master Chief. (Inspired by Scarface3000)

• Master Chief doesn’t use toilets. His poop is afraid to leave. (Inspired by Pink Punnisher)

• Master Chief once inhaled and spat out a Flood Spore. Hours later, it became Barbara Streisand. (Inspired by CaptianAntiles)

• The Covenant didn’t invent Active Camoflauge to give their troops an advantage in battle. They invented it to hide from Master Chief. (Contributed by adsin15)

• Master Chief’s Rice Krispies don’t Snap, Crackle and Pop, they shut the -Yoink!- up. (Contributed by iRECLAIM3R)

• Humans were running from the Flood, the Flood was running from Master Chief. (Contributed by Whytblaze)

• The warthog Master Chief and the Arbiter rode at the end of Halo 3 was missing an engine and 3 wheels, it ran anyway out of fear. (Contributed by Whytblaze)

WHAT??? This isn’t a thread complaining about something that has already been addressed a thousand times.
THIS IS ANARCHY

“Reach wasn’t destroyed by the Covenant. It committed suicide when Master Chief left.”

Hahahaha good one.

> WHAT??? This isn’t a thread complaining about something that has already been addressed a thousand times.
> THIS IS ANARCHY

  • Nobody complains about Halo. Master Chief pitties the other franchises and just takes the blame.

How many bombs does it take to destroy a Covenant Assault Carrier? None, Master Chief is the bomb himself.

So I take it Master Chief is the new Chuck Norris?

When Chief looks at himself in the mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Master Chief

Chief’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools The Chief

Master Chief can touch MC Hammer

Chief doesn’t cut his grass, he dares it to grow!

> • Master Chief doesn’t lose consciousness when he goes into Cryosleep. He’s merely killing Elites with his thoughts.

LIKE A BOSS!

OT: Good quotes and facts of Master Chief dude! :slight_smile:

> So I take it Master Chief is the new Chuck Norris?

  • Master Chief is not the new Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the old Master Chief.

> When Chief looks at himself in the mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Master Chief
>
>
> Chief’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools The Chief
>
>
> Master Chief can touch MC Hammer
>
>
> Chief doesn’t cut his grass, he dares it to grow!

Let’s try to refrain from simply cutting/pasting from the facts about Chuck page.

> > • Master Chief doesn’t lose consciousness when he goes into Cryosleep. He’s merely killing Elites with his thoughts.
>
> LIKE A BOSS!
>
> OT: Good quotes and facts of Master Chief dude! :slight_smile:

Thank you sir!

> How many bombs does it take to destroy a Covenant Assault Carrier? None, Master Chief is the bomb himself.

Rephrased and added, thank you!

Master Chief doesnt flush the toilet…

(OMG I hear you say)

He scares the -Yoink- out of it.

> Master Chief doesnt flush the toilet…
>
> (OMG I hear you say)
>
> He scares the Yoink! out of it.

Another copy and paste, but this did inspire a new one. Thank you!

Once, Master Chief let a flood spore bit to see what would happen. After a short period of disgusting biological changes the flood turned into a human.

> Once, Master Chief let a flood spore bit to see what would happen. After a short period of disgusting biological changes the flood turned into a human.

A little long-winded. I’ve rephrased it a bit and added to the list. Thank you!

Is this supposed to be funny? Not original to grab Chuck Norris’ concept.

> Is this supposed to be funny? Not original to grab Chuck Norris’ concept.

Facts about Master Chief:

Halo CE Released: 2001

Facts about Chuck Norris released: 2005

Result: Facts about Chuck Norris is a knock-off of Master Chief.

If you don’t want to have fun with this, you can go back to complaining about lag.

I love this thread

> I love this thread

Thank you! I hope you’ll pop on your creative cap and have a go at it!