Dear 343,
I wrote you but you still ain’t callin’
I left my Gamertag, my Twitter
and my blog at the bottom.
I sent two emails back in Autumn,
you must notta got’em,
There probably was a problem
with the new servers there or somethin’.
Sometimes I type (email) addresses to quickly when I write 'em
But anyways screw it, what’s been up man, how’s your new game?
I’m making one too,
I’m adding cannon fodder
If I ban the modders, guess what I’ma call 'em?
I’ma name them COD’ers
I heard about your ‘First Look’ vid, I saw it,
until my internet cut out
'cause my cat went out and gnawed it
I know you probably hear this everyday
But I’m your biggest fan,
I even got the CEA special edition you did in german
I got a room full of chief posters
and his pictures man
and I like that thing you did with bloom too
that stuff was blam!
anyways, I hope you get this riff
tweet me back, just to chat
your biggest fan
this is Smyf.
Hey guys, you still ain’t tweeted me
I hope you have a chance, I ain’t mad
I just think it’s wrong you don’t hover crafts
If you didn’t wanna feature me
on your fan page, you didn’t have to
But you could have linked to the other part of my blog too
That’s my little project man
It’s only 3 weeks old,
And I made lots of nice wallpapers
for screens of ALL SIZES
and you just said no.
That’s not legit man
Halo’s better than American Idol
I like it more than Raichu
I ain’t that mad, I just don’t like 'em Raichus
Remember when we met at E3?
You said if I subscribed to you you’d follow back
See I’m just like you in a way,
I never wanted bloom either
I played my mom in slayer and couldn’t beat her.
I can relate to what you’re putting in your games
So when I have a crappy day
I drift away and put 'em on,
Because I don’t got mass effect
so that affects what I can play
I even got a tattoo that says
‘One-One-Seven All the Way’
Sometimes I even stick myself
and ruin my own sprees
It’s like adrenaline
I run around with no shields
See everything you post is real
The bulletin’s how you tell it
My girlfriend’s jealous,
because I tweet @ you 24/7
But she don’t know you
like I know you guys, no one does
She doesn’t know what it was like
for gamers like us growin’ up.
You’ve gotta tweet me guys
I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Smyf
P.S. we should LAN together too
DEAR MR. I’M TOO GOOD TO TWEET OR MAIL MY FANS
THIS’LL BE THE LAST EMAIL I EVER SEND YOUR BLAMS
IT’S BEEN 3 HOURS AND STILL NO WORD,
I DON’T DESERVE IT
I KNOW YOU GOT MY LAST TWO TWEETS
I GOT THE HASHTAGS ON THEM PERFECT
SO THIS IS MY FORUM POST I’M SENDING
I HOPE YOU READ IT
I’M IN THE 'HOG RIGHT NOW
I’M DOING HALO ON LEGENDARY
HEY 343, I DRANK A GRUNTS BLOOD,
DARE ME TO DRIVE?
YOU KNOW THAT SONG BY BRYAN SIMON
FROM THE MLG FIGHT?
ABOUT THAT GUY WHO COULD HAVE SAVED
THAT OTHER GUY FROM RESPAWNING?
BUT DIDN’T, THEN T2 SAW IT ALL
AND 'CAUSE HE’S PRO HE FOUND HIM?
THAT’S KINDA HOW THIS IS
YOU COULDA SAVE ME FROM RESPAWNING
NOW IT’S TOO LATE
I’M ON A NINTENDO WII NOW AND I’M DROWSY
And all I wanted was a lowsy email or a tweet
I hope you know
I ripped all my xboxes off the wall
I loved you 343, we could have LAN’d together
Think about it, you ruined it now
I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about Reach
I hope you dream you play and
you can’t win without me
I hope your connection freaks
and your offline without me
See guys, ‘SHUT UP ELITE
I’M TRYIN’ A TALK’
Hey 343i, that’s my sanghelli worting in the trunk
But I didn’t frag him out I lagged him out
'Cause if he gets quit banned then
he’ll suffer more, and rage too
Well, gotta go
I’m almost at the Dawn now.
Oh no! I forgot
WORT WORT WORT WORT WORT WORT