First off, let me say- The game looks orgasmic. No, it is orgasmic. “Halo 4 IS orgasmic©®™ 2012 Chopstick llc.”
Now, since that’s out of the way, let’s get on to more serious topics…WHERE’S MY BR- Oh wait, it’s there? Okay…WHERE’S MY COMPETITIVE GAMEPLAY- Oh wait, that’s there too?..WHERE’S MY AWESOME RANKING SYSTEM- Damn, that’s there as well? Well, me being an important 11-year old Veteran Halo fan and all, I have to find something to whine about and/or call cancer. So Imma chill this time, and just drink my Hi-c and let the orgasmic Halo 4 information roll in.
Now, as you may have seen, the weapon set is big and better than before, we have our new pal the Scattershot (My god, so much bubblegum will be chewed while kicking -Yoink- with this mutha’), the Light rifle, the Railgun/Arcgun (Srsly, I first heard “Railgun”, now i’m hearing “Arcgun”. What’s it gonna me 343i?) and start drumroll, the long-awaited name of the Grenade-Pistol: the Rocket Pistol! Damn guys! Big leap in the naming process there! I won’t go into Mammoth-detail on each weapon (c wut i did thar ?) because i’m sure some dude who gets paid to type -Yoink- has more time/willingness to do so. I will however go into the Arcgun a bit, since I’ve heard next-to-nothing about it. From what I’ve collected around Master chief’s toilet bowl along with my colleagues, it will have a charge time similar to the Spartan laser, but half as long. It will also be a DEATH-RAY OF IMMORTALITY AND CAKE AND WUV KAWAII DESU~ that instantly kills any ground troops it happens to catch on it’s front lawn (Geezergun©®™ 2012 Chopstick llc.) It also will feature no-zoom and the Brute shot’s vehicle-pushing-power (Yeah! Let’s push some Wraiths around guiz!).
On another note, the revealed maps so far don’t strike me as amazing (Nothing does. Except Cake. Cake and Kittens.), they seem really Reach-like. But I guess this is fine for now, I just hope there a lot of new maps with their own feels. I don’t know what they renamed them to, but Roundabout and Longbow I like a lot. Can’t say so much for Warhouse though, too dark for my style ( Dat Promethean vision would be very useful right about thar). The Loadouts are simply amazing, and when I saw them I literally nerdgasm’d everywhere (errywhar, had to call Consuella to clean up afterwards- she was out of Lemon pledge ;_;). The Armor for this most part, is awesome, but a few of them seem way too Ninja-kill/kill or no-hud. Oceanic will probably be my armor for a while, but I’ll move up to the classics once I’m ready (Can’t beat dat Reconz). I also must admit, when I first heard the sound the AR makes, I thought the video was fake. it sounded too real to be the actual game, but when I found out all of the sounds were real, I ran up a wall and dd the YMCA dance. 343i, you need a medal for this outstanding game. If BLOPS2 outsells Halo 4 on 360 I will cry and consider An hero. Over all, Halo 4 is a 10/10 game, and if you don’t buy it, you will receive no foodnipple for dinner. Good day sirs.
