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-MC’s player model will be swapped with Sergeant Johnson’s. The dialogue will remain completely the same, though (Other characters will still refer to him as the Chief, etc)
-Morgan Freeman will be hired to re-record all of MC’s spoken lines. No new lines will be added, however.
-Every time your shields have been depleted, you’ll hear MC scream out in agony. Every time they recharge, he’ll say “That was a close one.” Every. Time.
-The Covenant will no longer speak in “alien tongues.” Instead, they’ll speak Portuguese.
-Banshees are now green for some unknown reason.
-Dead bodies no longer despawn. After they’ve been down for a certain time, they’ll get up and run off the nearest cliff/ into the closest body of water.
-Captain Keyes now has an eyepatch.
-The flashlight will no longer be attached to your guns. Instead, you’ll have to hold it instead of your weapon, and you’ll be forced to sit through an 8 second reload animation whenever it runs out of batteries.
-Hunters no longer have weak spots, making them invincible.
-Guilty Spark, along with the rest of the sentinels, no longer hover. Instead, they have really long robotic legs.
-All of the game’s music has been turned into dubstep remixes.
-Foehammer’s lines were re-recorded by the 3 year old daughter of a 343 employee.
-The crouch function has been removed. Instead, clicking the left stick will make Master Chief sit down.
-Cortana will take up a majority of the screen every time she speaks during gameplay. Also, her player model will perfectly resemble Serina from Halo Wars, but only during these gameplay segments.
-Plasma pistols and rifles have been replaced by plasma arrows and tomahawks, to give the Covenant a more “tribal” feel.
-Much of Halo’s landscape has been redesigned to look volcanic and dry.
-Your character now requires food once every 11 minutes, or else you will die.
-4 Underwater levels have been added.
-The Warthog run at the end of the game has been modified. Now you must ride a bicycle, and all fleeing grunts have been replaced by wraiths. Additionally, the final hangar is completely empty, so you get to watch Chief jump out of the back of the POA, flailing his arms and legs before he hits the ground.
-If you stare at the sun for exactly a minute and 9 seconds, the whole level’s geometry (including you) will suddenly go flying towards the sun, which will then crush you against the ground. There will be 2 seconds in between the beginning of the sudden movement and the lethal crushing, during which the Chief will scream like a 12 year old boy being dropped out of an airplane.
Will update OP with other good ways that 343 could ruin CEA.
Stuff I thought of after writing the OP:
-There will be collectables throughout the campaign, but they won’t be skulls. Instead, clowns will be used.
-To encourage the player to protect his allies, the Chief will now break down and cry whenever all of the nearby marines are killed. You cannot control him while he cries, and the covenant WILL continue to shoot at you.
-Speaking of marines, about 30% of them will wear medieval knight armor. These changes will be purely aesthetic, and won’t effect gameplay at all.
-The updated graphics will rely heavily on the art style of Super Mario Sunshine.
-The motion tracker has been replaced by a small picture of a horse.
-Strange things will happen when you stand still for too long. Couches will start to float across the sky. A group of leprechauns (very small, probably half the height of a grunt) will walk by, saying things to each other like “Is he asleep?” “Hurry up before he comes back!” one of them will be pulling a small elephant by a rope.
-Flood carrier forms will have a crudely drawn smiley face across their “heads”